Day 459 – Disliking others because they show the mirror.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have backchat “get out of my face” because P is showing me the mirror that I don’t like to see.

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat “get out of my face, dont’ bother me” things like that just because P is showing me the mirror to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate/dislike the idea that P is showing me what I have become now, and within that not see/realize that my backchat only shows my frustration within myself which is basically projected towards P.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wake up this morning with the backchat about P, having angry, irritated, annoyed backchats.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand I have placed P within my mind entirely now, given all sorts of rooms to exist within my mind, I mean, who is the fool in this, just because a few times I had to deal with P which I didnt’ like, I have allowed P-thoughts/backchats to occupy my mind all day, now waking up with them, so instead of facing P for a moment or two and dealing with whatever, now I am allowing and accepting P-thoughts/backchats a lot more than just a moment or two, in fact all day and now all morning. so the thought/energy-possession has become a disease, its possessing me, even to the point of waking up with them in the mornings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel annoyed by P.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel irritated by P.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bothered by P.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize in any living condition, the beings in the house sooner or later enter my mind, they posses my mind as I develop thoughts/emotions and feelings about them for things I don’t like about them. this pattern has been there years, so now its no different, here is P and I am seen similar annoyed/frustrated/irritated backchats/thoughts about this being, just like all the beings before with whom I shared a close quarters or some sort of association, sooner or later some backchat will develop, and in the mornings I would wake up ‘thinking’ shit about them. so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand my P-thoughts/P-backchat are nothing new, the same old annoyance/irritation I somehow develop about others to the point where such things possess me, as if I cannot ever get rid of them from my mind, not see/realize in one breath I can stop participating in the continuation/participation of them. P is not inside my mind, I don’t see P 24 hours a day on my face, may be 10 seconds, just a hi or a bye, and I find that so annoying and irritating? in that shows I have turned a 10 seconds encounter into an all day botheration, because I am participating in my mind as such.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand to wake up with P-backchats/thoughts means I have allowed and accepted them for a very long time, as a result the energy has built up in my mind, therefore a physical consequence is a real possibility now, like a verbal outburst or exchange, therefore I breathe and direct myself to realize that I have created this possession out of nothing (or out of a tinny thing) by just participating in thoughts/backchat I have given P a royal residence inside my MIND. so I stop, I breathe, I remain here.

when and as I see myself thinking about P, blaming P, or having angry exchanges within my mind about P, I stop, I breathe, and I realize that I have turned a small thing into large mountain inside my mind, I have created this, so I breathe and let go.

when and as I see myself fault-finding P for this or that so that I dont’ have face this person or deal with this person, I stop and I breathe, because I see/realize that this person is showing me the MIRROR which I hate it so much, so I forgive myself for it and let go of my reaction towards P, and I realize that in a shared living model, beings tend to chit-chat and talk to each other, there is nothing wrong with that, and I feel bothered or disturbed by that I can excuse myself from the social and not develop any thoughts/emotions and feelings about it, I can clearly say I want to have to my space to do my own things without creating a mind demon within myself where I am thinking shit about P all day and all morning now, this is madness. So when and as I see myself thinking about P, I stop, I breathe and I direct myself to communicate the issues clearly without building up an energy demon within myself.

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