I must face myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into my thoughts and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust in my feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in my feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow my feelings not realizing these feelings are results of my thoughts past and present, that I infact created these thoughts and feelings for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for what I feel within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for what I experience within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel so heavy within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to avoid the feeling of heaviness within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want run away from what I feel within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to escape from what I feel within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to escape from what I experience within me right now. Not realizing I have made this for myself. I have created this for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have the simple power and responsibility to stop my thoughts emotions and feelings simply by stopping the thoughts. Instead just being here as breath I allow myself to ‘think’ allow me to follow the thoughts within me into a river of thoughts. In that I get drained in emotions and feelings. I forgive me, I give me to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what I feel.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to ran away into happiness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want escape from what I am feeling now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want avoid my emotions and feelings. Not realizing I cannot avoid them, because it is me right now, I have made this for myself. Here or there, here on earth or in the afterlife, I cannot avoid myself, I have to face myself all of me. So for now, myself includes my thoughts and emotions. I am here as breath of life.

Here or there, in the physical or in death, I must face myself, there is no escape from me. I cannot avoid me, I cannot avoid myself as my thoughts and emotions. They will follow me. Until I stop them.

There is so much shit going on in this world, so much suffering going on in this world, self inflicted and environmentally inflicted, yet I ignore them and only focus on my little thoughts and feelings. I am always trapped in my own mind creations. I have allowed me to think and feel and exist within my thoughts and emotions. I am here. I have a responsibility to stop this mind bullshit within me. I do so by simply being here as the breath. I stop my thoughts and emotions by simply being here as breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being the breath of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear stopping the thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to stop thinking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to give up the thoughts. Because they give me so much comfort and security.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to stop following my thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to just be here as the physical as the breath of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad and depress within me. Not realizing in one breath I can stop it. I am here in one breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into my thoughts and emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be less than my thoughts and emotions. I am here equal and one to all of me, everything of me. I am equal and one to all and everything of me. I cannot run from me, I cannot avoid me.
No running from myself. I am here as self responsibility. I am here as self breath. I breathe here. I remain here as breath. Instead of looking for the next rush to get a high, either thru sex or this or that, I remain here as breath. I remain here as my physical.

I realize the sufferings of this world, I mean from so much starvation, murder, rape, torture, poverty, hunger, slavery, sickness, disease, loneliness, isolation, homelessness, gosh, a long long list indeed. Yet all I do is worry about my next high, my next round of sex, or next round of emotional high, how to be happy is my quest. I stop this madness, after all, with death all that is not real will end. Wtf.
I am here. I know all that I am chasing now will end, as none is real. So realizing the world’s mess, I know I understand I have a responsibility to stand up, to speak up against the bullshit that is going on. Speaking up in a constructive way, not just protesting and screaming, rather, speak with and the equal life party and one and equal to it. But I just focus on my thoughts, emotions and feelings, always looking for the next happiness. That is just total selfishness. Yes I have first responsibility for self-care. I have to take care of me, but that doesn’t mean total ignorance of world suffering.
I am here. I stop the depression within me, I stop the sadness within me. I stop the emotional loathing within me, I stop the self pity within me, I stop the nag within me, I stop the anger within me, I stop the doubt within me, I stop the craving within me, I stop the lust within me, I stop the envy within me,  but how exactly will I do all those ? Just simply being here as breath. I am the breath of life. Here as the physical, it is the mind that is fucking everything.
I forgive me. I forgive myself.

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