1. Breathe, before, during and after sex. Why? because if you don’t breathe, you can be taken over by images mostly porn images, then, you’re not having sex, rather you are trying to catch up to the images in your head. Hence, a constant comparison and worry exist within your mind before/during/after sex.
2. Avoid porn to turn you on. well, the need for any type of porn to turn you on is a turn off. again simply breathe, and turn off that mental porn within the mind.
4. touch. yes touch is the real thing, touch your partner, ample touching is cool, and that is the point of turning on, the hard on comes from the touch, not running those porns within your mind.
5. Don’t’ rush to cum. Don’t’ rush to experience that orgasm. breathe slow down. when you feel your mind is rushing for a cum, slow down with breathing.
6. Be here, meaning be here in the physical, and importantly don’t’ allow thoughts, ideas, pictures, memories, feelings, projections, to take over. and if it does, you know, ample self-forgiveness is needed. its a sign you are in need of self forgiveness. without judging yourself, simply note those patterns so that you can forgive yourself.
7. stop any thoughts, judgements about your partner. i mean how can you enjoy the intimacy with someone about whom you carry loads of judgement? sex is after all about developing trust, communication and intimacy between partners. even if it is just raw pumping, it helps to keep the mind in silence during sex.
8. stop evaluating the session afterwards. because sex is not a performance evaluator. stop self evaluating and stop evaluating the other after sex. ‘oh you’re so good in bed’ is actually a very nasty comment because it amplifies the performance and disregards the shared expression. evaluation has a touch of ego in it.
9. sex is about intimacy and self intimacy. another area to focus on self forgiveness if you find issues like mistrust, doubt, anger, and other nasty shit show up during sex.
10. remember life is not about just having sex. yes sex is cool, sex is great, but life is not about sex, it just having sex allows you to focus on the real shit that goes on in this world. the world is a mess, capitalism, consumerism, is destroying this world, hence fixing it is our collective purpose. so life is really about self changing so that you will do what is best for all. no matter how good is your sex life, some day it will end, all the fun and party will end, and then what is the question. so it is clear life is not about sex, life is about bringing a practical heaven on earth so that all humans will have access to equal quality of life. equality for all is the purpose.
And with that, enjoy the joy of sex.