Daily blogging, self writing continues, and it should, accepting and allowing anything less than daily writing is form of laziness and self abuse. I am here, in this process to self birth myself as life, so I must commit to it, taking the least resistant path is no self application. Anyways.
Here I am. breathing. I must remind myself that this is self-writing. I am writing to support myself, this is not a lecture or preach material for the readers. Readers however can assist themselves if they find anything useful in this. Oops, I see a kid throwing angry tantrums at another kid, looks very much like how grown up humans behave. Certainly looking at myself, god, how i lose it all when anger takes on over me.
Today I listened to Bernard Poolman’s vid titled “Parasatic Ego” very cool points, I highly recommend you watch it, not once but few times. I need to watch it hear it, a few more times. He explains how an emotional construct gets build up and turn itself into a demon. By giving it energy and repeated thinking about it, an emotional construct can take a life of its own leading oneself into a demon, anything from murder, rape, stealing, killing can happen, just because one accept and allow a singular emotional construct to gain momentum within the mind.
Such a dangerous construction, yet one is not without help. Breathing, self forgiveness are the tools of self exorcism. These are the days of the demons. I know i have been demonic, thank god, nothing serious happened, which means i still have a chance to rebirth myself and live a pretty decent life that is good for me and for rest of humanity.
I have committed myself for the next 21 days, to discipline myself to breathe often here now. Also to intensify my spoken self forgiveness activities. I have the time, the opportunity, the space, I mean i got all i need, and I am on vacation from this Friday, so why not, give myself totally into walking as breath here and applying self forgiveness. I on vacation, I don’t need to think. I need to just breathe.
This is the real vacation I will give to myself, to breathe and self forgive the whole time. And I will myself to do it. I don’t need thinking nor thoughts to entertain me nor give me a sense of self. I am here as breath. God. for once, let me apply myself for real.