Day 17 – “I Breathe Therefore I Am”. Descartes Got it Totally Wrong.

Day 17: Descartes Got it Wong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my backchats, by saying ‘well I need have this chat’ just for now, ‘I need this indulgence’ just for now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into backchat as if I am giving into some sort of indulgence, (just once only this time I will do it).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see backchat as some sort of hideaway where I can escape from physical reality and indulge myself in all sorts of nasty feeling-good thoughts and fancies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my backchat indulgence is not without consequences, I will be held accountable for every single thought I engage in within my backchat (by myself as my own judge).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that endless, mindless, insane thoughts I engage in will have consequences, I mean, its like speaking words that nobody can hear. just because nobody can hear doesn’t mean those silent words have no consequences. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize it is my unwillingness remain as breath here is the reason to engage in the backchat. Also backchat is silent awesome feel-good entertainment, nobody can see it, nobody can hear it, its all fun just for me, and just for my pleasure. 

In spite of the repeated reminders how backchat, that endless mind taking back hurts the human physical body, I still engage in backchat for the joy and pleasure of thinking bullshit. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that thinking is a pleasure, anything goes up there in the head is just perfectly fine: Anger, violence, rage, rape, murder, suicide, robbery, hate, hurt, homelessness, despair, depression, nastyness, money, sex, masturbation, threesome sex, variety of sex, cheating, endless sex, blow job after blow jobs, anything anything that goes up in the head, which I have accepted and allowed is OK to think, and enjoy the pleasure of backchatting. Not realizing all the while, I have accepted and allowed torture for my human physical body thru my backchatting. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my existence to just backchats, just to the noise in the head. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my whole existence as just backchat. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live my whole life within this backchat, listening to it, participate in it, creating it, giving it spies, just exist my whole life within my backchat and call that as “LIVING”. Not realizing i have been not living, rather just backchatting all the way. 

I realize how wasteful life is when I spend my whole time on earth just keeping busy within my backchat. I mean what did I do with my life? nothing, all I do is just think think and think.

My whole purpose of life is just to think think and think.

I Stop this madness. and for a moment I see/realize that LIFE here does not require that mindless endless noise, I can exist as just breathe here as physical.

I mean am I just a noise in the head?

When and as I see myself chasing the wind by participating in backchat, I simply STOP, I breathe. I remain here.

I think therefore I am, is a perfect justification for accepting and allowing the backchat to continue, Descartes got it totally wrong. Try: I breathe, therefore I am.

Join us: www.desteni.org

Day 16: Fear of doing Income Tax Returns

Day 16: Ok April 30th is the DEADLine to submit the tax returns. Why the fuck do I fear doing my taxes, weird, as if Revenue Canada(IRS) is going to find some shit and fine me or something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear doing my annual tax returns. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear gathering my income tax papers and actually doing my tax returns.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear submitting all the required papers to tax authorities within the belief that they will catch something and fine me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear doing taxes within the belief that they will catch something and give me a big fine. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear finishing my taxes and doing my taxes. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to avoid doing taxes within the hope of avoiding to face any possible consequences if any. well, not realizing avoiding is not a solution. I must rather face it and get it done with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delay till the last day to do taxes within the belief that I can avoid facing revenue canada (IRS) so that i dont’ have to deal with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the whole process of doing taxes. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear the process of doing taxes, filing taxes, submitting any cheques if needed etc. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to hide from doing taxes, not realizing, i cannot avoid it, i cannot hide from it, i cannot escape from it, so might as well submit it, get it done, then, its done, its over. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking responsibility to move myself to do the taxes, and get it done. just like any other task, i fear to take the responsibility to get it done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking the lead and actually moving myself to walk step by step, item by item, and get the taxes done. in fact, i just have to gather the papers and give it to the accountant, he will do it for me. even that i am fearing and procrastinating. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear doing taxes within the fear that i might get the numbers wrong, or submit the wrong information, or something might go wrong, and they might come back to ‘get me’. in that, i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear been caught by revenue canada (IRS) for something i did wrong. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear going to jail because i got the taxes wrong, or doing something wrong when submitting the papers.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear been killed by revenue canada (IRS) for not submitting my taxes on time.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my whole life, i  will end up in jail because i did my taxes wrong, or did them late etc. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear doing my annual taxes within the fear that something may go wrong, or i might get the data wrong. 

So what some data entry go wrong, just redo it, just redo it, just redo it, just redo it. it is not not the end of the world. simply resubmitting the file. that is all. i have not committed murder here, simply delayed in submitted my papers, there is nothing to fear or panic, just breathe, and get it done.

I commit myself to submit my papers as needed tomorrow, so this filing taxes business is done on time.

I commit myself to speak to my account tomorrow and hand over the papers and explain the situation. NO worries.

I commit myself to move myself to get the taxes done by tomorrow. In this I commit myself to move myself to hand over all the needed papers by tomorrow. so it is DONE

I see, i have gathered all the papers, I will handover to my accountant tomorrow and then he will submit it on my behalf. There is no need to fear or panic about doing taxes, i mean what is there to hide? i have already paid ample in income taxes, and if anything short, it will be few hundred, and so there is nothing to fear or panic. simply, just get the papers done, wrapped it up. It just need my direction and dedication, i cannot just wait for someone to take responsibility for me to sort my shit out, which is my pattern.

I commit myself to get the taxes done by tomorrow, then it is done.

Join us, to end your patterns www.desteni.org

By the way, in equal money system, you will never have to file taxes, or do taxes, or pay taxes, it will all FREE. we will just live. join us.