Fear to Give up Thinking. Fear to Breathe – Day 2

 

Day 2: My Journey towards Life:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the simplicity of breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘think’ that just breathing is nonsense and therefore useless. In that I forgive myself to believe that thinking is something I must do to exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear been a zombie while I just breathe here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to STOP thinking because I believe that to exist I must ‘think’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear just Been Here as breath, as me as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to think so that I can exist and to be alive. Meaning, to exist I must think, that is what I have accepted and allowed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must think so that I can exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have never tried out the option of not thinking, have I ever just lived here without thinking?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to conclude something as nonsense even without giving it a try with common sense. I mean I have never lived as just breath here, so how can I know about it?

I have wasted a good portion of my life in the head just thinking (mostly bullshit stuff of course), I realize that I have never really considered living as breath, I never gave this new approach a chance. I dont need to think, whenever I need to think practical stuff, yes the ability to think is there, “Tomorrow I must visit the dentist at 11:00 AM” is a practical thought, while “oh that dentist don’t like Indian people” is a story in the head, its a backchat, meaning its a preprogrammed thought arising within the predesignness of me.

So when and as I see myself ‘thinking’ I STOP. I breathe. I remain here. I realize I am dealing with the most fundamental problem with human mind, my mind, the insanity of thinking. When and as I think along the lines of desire, greed, selfishness, jealousy, anger, worry, anxiety, doubt, suspicion, hate, memory, revenge, what-ifs, fears, prejudice, shyness, etc, I STOP, I breathe. I realize those thoughts are coming from my resonant symbols, they are how I am programmed to think. I am designed to think in a certain way, the preprogrammed way.

So I end my slavery to predesign thinking, by simply stopping it. I breathe, I remain here. When and as I see myself riding on the train of thought, oh oh, I know, I don’t want to be on this train. I stop, I breathe. I remain here, as life is here. Yes if there is a practical concern, a need, a project, a situation, then I direct myself to think about it and get the job done. Thinking is a tool/ability, self-directed tool/ability,

Till here no further, I will no longer allow and accept myself to seek refuge in the joys of thinking.

Till here no further, I will no longer allow and accept myself to sit on the train of thoughts. I simply stop it. I am here, breathing, I direct myself to breathe and remain here.

Jon us: www.desteni.org

 

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