Day 3 – Fearing Here due to Memories

Day 3: My Journey of Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience fear been with family members because of fear of old memories.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing people here because i fear the old memories i have in relation to them.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear been here with people because i fear they might activate my old pain relating to old memories. not realizing that can happen only if I allow it and accept it. b’c memories exist with me, so its upto me to walk thru the old memories and feel pain.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people are the same decades ago and now, and therefore justify my memories about them as valid.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto old memories as a matter of protection because i believe old memories will protect me from harm again.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself not realize that living here now in the present of this breath means NO more validity to past memories. of course memories wont’ disappear but i dont’ have to relive them by recalling them into here now.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to stand as past as memories as revenge as bitterness of the past, as protection, instead just been here as breath and breathing this breath to the fullest.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to protect myself by believing that thinking about the past will protect me.

When and as I see myself walking thru the memory lanes I STOP it I breathe. I realize that walking thru the memory lanes is living in the past, is self spitefulness, is wanting to  avoid here and wanting to impose a judgement into here. b’c bringing any past into here is a judgement upon life here.

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