Day 38 – Me the Outsider Fearing Others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see others as a threat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see others as a danger to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others because I see them as a threat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear others because I fear they could hurt me at their will.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting hurt by others. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting emotionally hurt by others, and out of this fear, I fear associating with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid others in the fear of getting hurt by them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never trust others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always doubt and be suspicious of others, because I see others as a permanent threat, who at will could hurt me, and leave me all defenseless and vulnerable. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always doubt and be suspicious about others and in that never allowed myself to be intimate with others. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear sharing intimacy with others, as I allowed myself to fear been intimate with others, just out of fear getting hurt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always believe that others will only care and love their own kind, and never me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always believe that others have no ‘connection’ to be me, hence they have nothing to lose by losing me, therefore they will not hesitate to attack me or hurt me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear been vulnerable with others because I fear getting taken advantage of, or getting hurt. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to fear trusting others as I believe others have their own kind to worry about and take care of, so why would they not hesitate to attack me. I am an outsider. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always see myself as an outsider to any group of people, in this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize it is me who is isolating me within my own judgments and ideas. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see people as “others” and me as separate from “others”. in this I forgive myself for always creating a wall, a barrier that I could never cross to be intimate with others, always remaining within the walls of fear of getting hurt. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see others as special therefore I see myself as never been part of others, whom will inevitably reject me over time because I am not part of “others”. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me as an outsider who can never be part of a group, never be part of a family, never be part of a group of friends or co-workers. In this I forgive myself for fearing “others” by permanently seen myself as an outsider.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as an outsider and in that I forgive myself for always mistrusting others and avoiding others and fearing others. All because of my own judgments about me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate me from others because of my own judgments about me, and my fear of getting hurt. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear been vulnerable, fear been intimate with others. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the root of my problem is lack of self-intimacy, instead of me becoming intimate with me, I seek/want/search for intimacy with others, with all my judgments about others, and in that, I never really experiencing intimacy (but only more fears and more hurts).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I have separate me from others by labeling me as an outsiders, and in that I have avoided others, avoided communicating with others, avoided trusting others. Only living within my own fears and labels. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate me from others, thru my own judgments and fears, instead of breathing, been here as breathe. 

…To be continued

When and as I see myself to fearing others, mistrusting others, seen others as a threat, seen others as plotters of hurt against me, I STOP, I breathe, I realize it is an old mind pattern that is fearing rest of mankind, I realize my label of me as an “outsider” doesn’t help, therefore when and as I see myself putting on the “outsider” hat, I stop, I breath, I remain here as breath of life. In breath, I am one and equal to all that is Here. I realize intimacy is only possible with breathe/breath, otherwise as the mind judgments kick in, creating a wall between me and others. So when and as I see myself fearing others, I stop, I breath, knowing that it is only an old mind pattern. I am here breathing.

I mean there are hundreds of reasons to fear and mistrust others, and create permanent walls, yet in breathing, in breath, I remain here, I stand here as a manifestation of equality and oneness, at least for a moment, just for this breath. In that I birth me as life, which is not an outsider for anyone/anything, as life is all.

Join us: www.desteni.org

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s