Day 75 – Looking for conflicts is an addictive drug of my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire power over others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the feeling of power over others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire power over others. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to create conflicts with others based on my power over others, so that I can get energy for mind/ego’s survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse power over others so that I can get energy for mind/ego through conflict and becoming nasty towards others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create conflicts so that I can get energy for my mind/ego’s survival.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire conflicts with others, because conflicts with others gives me energy for my mind/ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize my mind/ego love conflicts, blames, nastiness so that I can get energy for my mind. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek conflicts with others so that I can get energy for my mind’s survival.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I set the stage perfectly so that conflicts can be rightfully created. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself desire conflicts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire/seek conflicts so that my mind can get its energy to survive. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire/seek energy via conflicts so that my mind can survive. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire/seek energy via been nasty towards others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for faults and blames so that I can create the perfect conflict with others. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that i have become a natural born conflict maker, always seeking/looking/creating conflicts with others so that I can get my energy for my mind/ego and its survival. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I have given up breathing and just serve my mind/ego and its needs. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I thrive upon great conflicts, the higher the energy, the better it is, as it will feed my mind/ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist for one and only one reason, that is to serve my mind/ego, to give it energy from my physical. in this i forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deplete my body. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when others create conflict, not realizing that them too, just like me, love to create conflicts for their mind to survive.

I stop, I breathe. I stop this drug addiction I have formed towards creating conflicts just for the sake of mind survival.

When and as I see myself desiring/wanting/urging for conflicts, I STOP, I breathe, I realize seeking for conflicts is a sign my mind is looking for a feeding, energy for its survival.

When and as I see myself feeling all powerful over others because I sense that I have the power to create conflicts with them for reasons pull out of the hat, I STOP, I breathe, I realize any form of power over another is doom, is ego. Power will never bring intimacy, as it will only feed my mind as ego.

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Day 74 – How strange, I realize I like being Sad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain sadness within myself today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to be sad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to write emails in sadness and respond to another’s sadness with amplified sad reply.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use another’s sadness to amplify my own sadness. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad and believe that i have no choice but just be sad. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak within the tone of sadness, where I deliberately express sadness within my tonality. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into sad modes within myself. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to almost like been sad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like been sad so that I can avoid/hide from people to continue hollowing in sadness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that something is wrong with my stomach whose condition is causing my sadness, and in that i forgive me for justifying my emotional states, instead of taking responsibility to STOP and Breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hollow in sadness whereas I could have just STOPPED it and breathe thru it. 

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to still not apply the tool of breathing to ground me HERE. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am too sad to breathe and within that I forgive me for justifying my continuous hollowing of sadness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize it is my continuous participation that caused the sadness to continue, whereas I could have stopped in one breath. Till here no further.

When as as I see myself feeling all sad, I STOP, I breathe, I engage myself in physical movements/activities to keep me out the emotional express train.

I commit myself to the process of 7 years of writing of self-forgiveness, to reach nothingness, no thoughts, no emotions, no reactions, no judgments, no rage, no anger, no backchat, no spitefulness, no jealousy, simply here breathing and doing what is best for all. Investigate Journey to LIFE.

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