Day 66 – Look at my wonderful work, Look again, Look again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly ask people around me to look at my work/tasks/projects/blogs/videos I am working on. Constantly wanting/seeking/desiring others to look at my work and compliment them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly desire approval from others, “look at my work, look again, look here, look at this, look at that, wonderful isn’t it, look again”. In this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I am living just to show off to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly desire approval from others, in this I forgive myself that I have never ever done anything just for the sake of doing it, as I am always seeking/desiring approval from others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always want others to “look at my work”, and yes approve them, never realizing, I am totally degrading myself in this behavior. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to degrade myself by never expressing myself but always doing things just to get approval from others. In this, I forgive myself for denying myself, rejecting myself, disregarding myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize in wanting/desiring/seeking approval from others, I am totally disregarding myself here as life, dismissing all self-respect. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never live for myself, but always want approval, validation, respect, likeness from others so that I can actually live. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the core problem is not living here as breath, breathing, because I am always in the mind, which needs constant feeding of energy via approval, recognition and validation. As breath, I am here as breathing, no need for any approval from anyone. I forgive me for not breathing here with full awareness, instead always seek something from others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always “show things” to others, in search of their approval, validation, recognition of me. I am here as breath, and breathing.

I realize that I have lived my whole life in search/seeking/desiring approval from others, therefore I see/realize/understand that this pattern will appear over and over again, so when and as I see this pattern again within me, seeking/searching/wanting/desiring approval from others by showing off my work to them, I STOP, I BREATHE. I support me with 4 count breathing, I go for a walk, I go get a glass of water, I get out of my seat, as I will direct myself to remain within me.

I see/realize/understand that wanting/desiring/seeking to show off my work to others is a momentary mental high, like an addict seeking a quick high, I realize that high is not going to assist me in my life, so I STOP, I Breathe. I remain here as breath. If someone really wants to know the details/specifics of my work they will ask me, then, I will in a common sense manner, discuss the details as equals, not placing myself as a superior. I will direct myself to discuss the project/work details as equals. I realize everyone can do what I can do, we are in fact equals as life, hence it helps nobody to show off.

I am here as breath, breathing. I do things, just for doing them, it is my own self expression. I stop seeking/desiring/wanting approval from others, forevermore. I live instead.

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