Day 83 – “They vs. Me”: My lifelong battle character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to readily use “They vs. Me” battle character to see myself as the victim and “they” as my abusers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always see a “they” who are apparently against me, a team who is always against me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to really look for a team that is apparently against me, whose sole purpose is to turn me into a victim.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive any group of people as a team who is against me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am a natural born victim, therefore any group/team/them/they will end of abusing me, and tuning me into a victim. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my parents and siblings as a team whose sole purpose was to corner me and target me. In this I forgive me for allowing me to see me as a victim and thereafter always see groups/teams as a threat to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my mother and father as a team whose sole purpose is to corner me and target me, and leaving me with no choice to defend. in this I forgive me for believing that I am all alone in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my mother and brothers as a team whose sole purpose is to corner me and target me, and blame me for anything and everything, apparently I am the one who must be targeted. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear family gatherings, because them/they would bring the old fears of me been cornered and targeted. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear teams.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my childhood family situation as how things will always be, and in that I forgive myself for not letting go of the past. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I got messed up by my parents and blame them for my apparent fears about teams. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was pretty messed up by my parents and in this I forgive me for believing that they had placed a permanent scar in me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize my parents too had inherited the generational virus, they truly didnt’ know any better, there were too pre-programmed to live a certain preordained life path. My parents did not have the skills nor any support on how to raise a child, or on how to manage their emotions etc, like robots they went with the flow of their mind’s energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my parents deliberately messed me up, not realizing they simply didn’t know any better, so I realize/see/understand that my anger towards them is unfounded.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to carry the memories of been corned and targeted by my parents within me still in the flesh, and activate those memories even now when I am with groups of people and feel all threatened by them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to program my flesh with the memories of been cornered and targeted by my parents and in that I forgive me for believing those memories will reoccur over and over again with different people in different situations in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly be in the guard wearing the “they vs. me” battle character, always seen/looking/identifying how people are corning me and targeting me, how they are turning me into a victim.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly see myself as a victim who is corned and targeted by they/them/others/teams/groups etc. in this I forgive me for always looking for a “they” who apparently will corner me and target me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I am always ready to find a “they” who will turn me into a victim, and in this I forgive me for living the “they vs. me” battle character all my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I am wearing a battle character called ‘they vs. me’ and in wearing this, i am always ready to be a victim, and I am always ready to identify a “they” whose sole purpose is to knock me down. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I always felt as if I am the outsider and in this I forgive myself for seen others as the group and me as the outsider. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I am too desiring to form a team, to belong to a group so that I too can feel the power of a group, a team. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize what I am really looking for is an ego boasting group/team like family or extended family, or group of close friends, or cultural buddies with whom I can feel as if I am a team, a group. Not realizing its ego to desire to be part of a petty group, while the group called life is here, so I forgive me for seeking a little group to make my ego feels belong and accepted. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I desire to join “them” and be part of “they” so that I too can feel the power of a team, and perhaps victimize someone else too. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate groups because I desire to be part of them so to make myself feel larger and better and more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize in wearing the “they vs. me” battle character what I am really saying is that I am not enough, I need to be part of “they/them”. in this I forgive me for not accepting me and not seen that I am enough, more is not needed. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am part of a group called LIFE. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize every “they” I identify is actually a part of me, and is part of the group called life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize by simply breathing here, I remain here equal and one and part of this group called life. The moment I enter the mind, then, I seek small groups/teams to enlarge myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize “they vs me” battle character that I have been wearing lifelong only exist as thoughts within me. I think therefore the battle character exist. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to carry the memories within me and therefore the thoughts within me, and in that I forgive me for constantly wearing the “they vs. me” battle character. Not realizing in the simplicity of breathing here, I can let go off the “they vs. me” battle character. 

When and as I see myself going into the “they vs. me” battle character, I stop, I breathe. I see/realize/understand its an old pre-programmed pattern that I have been carrying within me, which does not serve anymore, therefore when and as I see “they vs me” character activating within me, I stop, I breathe. I remain here.

When and as I see myself going into “2 vs. 1” battle character at home with my wife and son, I stop, I breathe, I let go off thoughts/memories and I direct me to breathe here. Because in been here I am part of the group called LIFE, hence I am equal and one to all as life. So I see/realize/understand that I dont’ need a small group, a team, a 2-some to include me or to accept me, so that I can feel MORE, I see/realize/understand I am already part of the largest group in existence, as I am part of life itself. Therefore I stop participating in thoughts, and I breathe here as life.

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