Day 93 – Desiring a Picture Perfect Family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a picture perfect family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the idea of picture perfect family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine a family that is perfect, a picture.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself within a picture perfect family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as a happy member of a happy picture perfect family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define a picture in which a perfect family exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine picture perfect family gatherings, where the loved ones, friends, and relatives, are gathering and socializing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a picture within my mind in which a perfect family, relatives, friends and gatherings exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a picture within my mind in which, ample food, drinks, parties are happening with my picture perfect family, relatives and friends.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a picture within my mind in which, ample conversations, chats, talks, discussions are happening within my picture perfect family, relatives and friends where everyone is really having a good time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a picture within my mind in which, I have a big house with a big yard where I am having big parties with my picture perfect family, relatives and friends where everyone is having a great time enjoying themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a picture within my mind in which, many children, extended families and their children, friends and their children are all running around and having fun with my picture perfect family, relatives and friends.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a picture within my mind in which, my house is always filled with many people, extended families, friends where everyone is having a great family time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a picture within my mind in which, I have many extended family members who are so dear and near to me and to my picture perfect family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a picture within my mind in which, I am loved and cared and supported by my extended family members, relatives and friends who are so connected and close to my picture perfect family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a picture within my mind in which, my weekends are filled with family gatherings and parties where extended families, relatives, friends fill my house and yard with ample family activities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a picture within my mind in which, people are bringing food and drinks to parties at my place, and the house is filled with family members, extended family members, relatives and friends where everyone is having a good family time feeling bonded and connected to each other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a picture within my mind in which, I am bonded and connected to so many of my extended family members, relatives and friends, where joy of big family is flowing like a river.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a picture within my mind in which, everyone is looking upto me, admiring me, appreciating me for having big parties and family gatherings for making everyone feel comfortable and happy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a picture within my mind in which, I am a great host and holding many big parties with extended families, relatives and friends where everyone is thanking me for the great times filled with food, drinks, music and  movies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a picture within my mind in which, I am holding many Sri-lankan cultural/ethnic parties so everyone feels home away from home in my house where Sri-lanka food, drinks, music and movies are in ample.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be a great host for great parties where everyone is thanking me for the great time they have had, where they felt home away from home.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have a home where I can feel like I am back in Sri-lanka with the same cultural, ethnic vibes with Sri-lankan food, drinks and music and dance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have a picture perfect family so that I can always get support and assistance in ample.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have large families, relatives and friends so that I will be never be alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have a picture perfect family, with a picture perfect wife and kids where everyone love each other and bonded to each other in the most amazing ways, so that I can feel connected, loved and cared for, and I will never feel alone again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have a picture perfect family so that I can always goto places with them, go on vacations with them, and never feel alone and isolated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am alone and lonely without a picture perfect family, a perfect wife, perfect children, perfect house, perfectly secured income, tons of perfect extended family members, relatives, and tons of well connected friends.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to party every weekend with my picture perfect family and extended family, relatives, and friends, so that all summer long, I can enjoy the joy of family, culture and ethnic vibes, food, drinks, music, movies, social, and a home away from home, with a picture perfect family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a clan, a group, a close knit, well bonded, connected family, extended family and friends, where we are one large well connected, well supported clan, where I am perfectly happy in the family/clan setting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire large families, extended families, and friends so that I am loved, liked and appreciated by them all, and I will never be alone, not connected, not bonded.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I am holding an imaginary picture within my mind so that I can feel safe and secure within the fake feelings of bonding and connections to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I am holding a mental picture out of not wanting to take responsiblity to remain here as breath. So that I am connected to my physical body within me, as breath/breathing. in this I forgive me for not realizing, self-connection matters the most, because thru self-connection, I am connected to ALL, not just to a tiny clan called perfect family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize in that picture perfect family fancy/scenarios that I mentioned above, I have totally neglected the family of LIFE in which every being, every human, every animal, every plant is an equal part of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I belong to the family of LIFE, in which every cell, every being is an equal part.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize a picture perfect family is only possible when all beings on earth are well taken care off equally as all are life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize self-connection, connection to my own physical body, breath, breathing is the first step, I am here as my body and through this existential connection to all is possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have clans, and families while the family of LIFE starves and suffers daily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a picture perfect family, a perfect wife, perfect children, perfect relatives and friends, while my real family, the family of LIFE starves and suffers daily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire cultural/ethnic vibes, while LIFE here suffers daily.

I commit myself to establish self-connection through breath and breathing because I see/realize/understand only through self-connection within my body, I may connect to the family of LIFE which includes ALL.

I commit myself to be a physical being without any pictures moving me.

I commit myself to give up my mind’s fantasies and pictures where I imagine picture perfect family scenarios, in this, I commit myself to stand as ME as breath of LIFE.

When and as I see that I am thinking about family, family gatherings, family get-togethers, family parties, family vacations, family outings, family visits, I STOP, I BREATHE. I see/realize/understand, I am driven by the clan mentality of blood bonds, cultural/ethnic bonds, so I STOP and I breathe. I see/realize/understand I belong to the family of LIFE which includes ALL, so I direct myself to breathe and remain here as a physical being. I direct myself to live breath-by-breath, here, as breath, as life and direct myself to do what is best for all in all scenarios. 

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