Day 95 – My Capitalistic mind wants a reWARd, so I can skip today from daily self-writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow laziness to dictate me so that I can avoid writing today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can now skip a day or two here and there because now I am approaching 100 days of writing, so I can give myself a bonus, reWARd and skip writing today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify approaching 100 days as sign of seniority and hence feeling like giving myself a bonus day off from writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as established in self-writing therefore I can justify a day off from my Journey to Life process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize JTL is not  a reward based capitalistic bonus system where I will get a bonus day off from JTL from some capitalistic money master.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that now I should get a bonus for approaching 100 days of self-writing in the form of a day off here and there from self-writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it is my capitalistic money mind thinking in terms of bonuses and rewards for taking self-responsibility for myself. After all, who is going to give me this day off? is there some boss who is watching my daily writing to give me a day off as a reward/bonus?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trick myself into thinking believing that now approaching 100 days of writing means, I deserve a day off here and there, not realizing this is a self-driven, self-responsible, self-walking, self-journey to life, there is no boss or god watching my day to day writing.

I see/realize/understand here I am writing to set myself free, this is not a writing show, this is self-journey to freedom, to life. I see/realize/understand if “take a day off” from daily writing, it is my own responsibility, so why just take one day off, take the whole 7  years off and head to the bar instead. I see/realize/understand this is a journey of self-commitment to change self. So I stand here as breathe of life, and re-dedicate myself to writing day by day, for this entire 7 year process.

When and as I see myself giving into laziness and desiring a day off, or desiring a day off as a bonus, or reward, I STOP it, I breathe, I see/realize/understand I am here walking a self-committed self-journey to life. Only I am accountable and responsible for myself and my writings, there is no God or Guru or Master watching me. I am the only one here, responsible for myself.

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