Day 114 – Judging Life Here through Memories is a curse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look at life through memories.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look people here through the memories I have about them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look at myself through all sorts of memories which I have experienced and acquired from the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto memories as if they are written on stones so that I can readily use them to judge what is here as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that memories have one singular purpose: that is to JUDGE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge humans as bad because of apparent bad memories I have about them, in that, suggesting that they can never escape my memory and judgment about them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never ask the question: When will I set them free from my memory based judgments about them? or will they ever be free? or will they die with my judgment upon their heads?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, judging humans for their apparent past mistakes is a heavy burden upon them which they must carry to their graves. in this I forgive myself for not realizing, I never liked it when others judged me for my apparent past mistakes and I see/realize/understand it never assisted when others bring up my past mistakes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that humans are deadly and they cannot ever change, not realizing that is the implication of holding unto memories and judging people here based on memories. Memory based judgment is an eternal curse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see people as demonic who will never change, not realizing, that is the implication of judging people based on memories. It never gives them a chance to set them free, for I am judging them eternally through my memories.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, judgement is an eternal curse upon another, at least that is how I experienced it when others judge me for what I have done in the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see humans as eternal abusers, which is what implied by holding onto memories about them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people and never set them free from my judgments about them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not realize, self-judgement based on memory is curse as well, and it is the root-cause. In that I forgive me for holding myself a prisoner of my own memory based judgments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear people based on the memories I have about them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid people based on the memories I have about them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid communicating with people based on the memories I have about them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid socializing with people based on the memories I have about them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to recall memories of sexual encounters and relive that sexual thrill via memory, not realizing I am simply regenerating the feelings/emotions by activating the sexual memories.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I really dont’ need memory to live moment by moment, I can recall them upon need-to-know bases. in that, I forgive me for not living, as all I do is exist within memories, react the memories, relive the memories, re-walk the memories,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to carry loads of memories about everyone in my life, in this not realizing, I am not having any real relationship with anyone, as only memories are re-lived.

When and as I see I am thinking about past memories, I STOP, I breathe, I see/realize/understand, bringing the past and judging another being based on the past is cruel, unmerciful, a curse. In this, I let go off, any and all memories I have about people, by simply not participating in them. I let go unconditionally, as I would at the moment of my death, I mean, com’on, I ain’t going to judge anyone based on my memories from the grave, am I? So, I let go now, here, and I direct myself to breathe.

When and as I see I am holding myself a prisoner through past memories, and self-judgement within them, I stop, I breathe, I see/realize/understand self-judgment is the root-cause of all judgments.

[I see/realize here, I will have to walk through each and every memory about everyone in my life, and release them via self-forgiveness, which is an extensive writing process, but it must be walked. stay tuned]

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