Day 117 – Loneliness/Isolation is Not the Purpose of Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel alone and lonely.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel lonely and isolated believing that others must remove my loneliness and alone-feelings that I allowed within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for what I feel within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself as ME and as OTHERS, in that very separation I allowed loneliness to exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that physical beings don’t separate themselves, they as physical are totally here, in equality and oneness to all, ALONE, as ALL-ONE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize it is my own isolation within my mind, the root cause of separation, and my feelings of isolation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, ideas, beliefs, social norms, traditional, cultural, religious ideas have caused my mind to separate from the physical here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, my mind is racing, running fast with beliefs, ideas, in that believing that I lack, I want, I need, I want more, never here, in this I forgive me for simply not breathing here as me, as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live within the ideas/beliefs within my mind and actually believe in them, not realizing, separation from my physical is my real loneliness, I am missing me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in family ideas and trying to fit my reality into my mind’s beliefs, which is obviously not working, in this I forgive me for creating conflicts within me, reality vs: mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there must be a family for me, to call my own, so I can feel belong, connected and be together with them. in this I forgive myself for desiring connection with others, for familiarity, and family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek people who will give me familiarity and family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want more, something more, something more real, something more familiar, in this I forgive me for not realizing, my mind is always looking for something else/more, instead been here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I deserve better, and therefore want MORE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, this wanting MORE is a mindfuck, mindtrap which can only lead me to fucktown.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, my mind always looking to gamble, may be the pasture will be more greener on the other side, in this I forgive me for not been here, breathing, living, doing what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I am obsessed by the family system, meaning, I am allowing my desires for so-called family to direct me instead of me directing myself within what is best for all within this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, blaming, complaining, whining are all characters that play acts to cause separation. in this I forgive me for not realizing, the real character, the physical/life is suppressed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the real character of me is the physical being-ness of me, the physical, yet my mind and its variety of characters of running my life, through my permission and allowance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, little blames, remarks are the activation point of mind-characters causing loneliness, alone-ness and isolation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the real character, the physical of me is sleeping, because I exist/live constantly within my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I am jumping from one mind-character to another, endless cosmic character dance of Shiva within my mind, while the real God-character, the physical is suffering, sleeping.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, each thought, each emotion/feeling is a character that plays/acts within my mind, causing to hide/suppress the physical of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly play the characters of my mind, in this not realizing, I am not allowing the real, life character of the physical to emerge in this lifetime.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the purpose of my life is not found within the character plays, only within the emergence of my physical-life character will I find my true purpose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get stuck in the worldly matters and therefore waste away a whole lifetime in playing out mind-characters while the physical never emerges, hidden away for the whole lifetime.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, my desire for connection, for familiarity, family, belonging, emotional comfort, friendship connections, love/affections are all simply mind-characters wanting to live/survive while not allowing the real life-character to emerge. Play of illusions continue while the real physical is never allowed to emerge, in this I forgive myself for not realizing, that I am the director who allows the characters to play.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I am wasting away my whole life in mind-character plays, a real waste, in this I forgive me for accepting and allowing thoughts/emotions/feelings to dominate my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the so-called hereafter/afterlife is really useless, in this I forgive me for believing that I can rebirth me as life in the afterlife so might as well party away this physical/life chance here. in this I forgive me for not taking the responsibility for stopping the mind, here now, and stopping the mind-characters here now. I see/realize waiting for the afterlife to take responsibility is really a coward act.

I see/realize/understand, loneliness/aloneness/emotions/feelings, are all part and parcel of the mind-characters which are designed to entrap me within the mind, so that the real physical life character will never emerge, basically, its like dying on arrival, never achieving the true purpose of life, which is the birth of life through the physical.

I see/realize/understand, I have been on all fronts of my life, merely playing out mind-characters, not allowing, in fact suppressing the true real physical life character from emerging.

When and as I see myself whining, blaming, complaining, looking for greener pastures, looking for MORE, wanting/desiring MORE, I STOP it, I breathe, and I step back and see the practicality of it, is it a mindfuck or is it real physical practical issue? I allow myself to investigate within common sense, and within what is best for all. I see/realize/understand, it is not about what I like/dislike, or what is cool for me, as there are other beings in my life/reality, so I see/realize/understand, others comes first, its not always about what I want/feel/like/dislike, I realize I have to consider others in my life, and their futures. I see/realize/understand considering only what is cool for me is another mind character, leading to isolation and loneliness.

I am here, breathing, I commit myself to observe my mind-characters, and I commit myself to be aware so that those mind-characters won’t take me over, leading to the suppression of my physical life character.

Is there purpose of life? surely, it cannot be living/existing as loneliness/isolation or aloneness? I see/realize/understand, as long as mind-characters run, I am limited to such. So I commit myself to stop the mind characters.

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