Day 121 – ‘Comfort me’ Character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others should comfort me while I am sick or not feeling well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that while in a relationship, the other should devote her entire time to attend to my needs as I am not feeling well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the idea that my partner should be a nurse while I am down with sick.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I am looking for a mummy not a spouse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize my physical body is saying something, I should pay attention to myself,  to my body instead of looking at what another is doing or not doing to me while I am sick, in this I forgive myself for looking to blame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look to blame while I am sick because I believe others should drop everything and pay attention to me and care for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desired to be cared for while I am not feeling well, within this I forgive me for putting on the ‘comfort me’ character instead of just breathing through it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wear both ‘comfort me’ character and ‘I will blame you’ character at the same time, because when others don’t comfort me, they will surely get blamed for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience loneliness and alone feelings when I am not well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to activate all old memories where I was alone as a child during sickness, and within that memory I go onto blame people here now, within the belief that current people are doing the same to me. I let go off all such childhood memories. I am here breathing, every breath is a new life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, been in a relationship doesn’t automatically turn my partner into a nurse, no such condition nor requirement exist. It is simply my desire, want and requirement that my partner should turn herself into a nurse and/or mummy when I am sick.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry when I am sick within the belief that others are not becoming nurses to take care of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry when I am sick within the belief that my partner should turn herself into a nurse to attend to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others when I am sick, within the belief that others must drop everything and care for me, as if only I exist in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, my sickness is a sign that my body is saying something, instead of focusing on it, and focusing on what’s going on in the mind, I allow myself to blame others for what I am feeling physically.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, this “comfort me” character is kind of self-pity, unwilling to take responsibility for self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, my severe constant cough is a sign of self-dishonesty. so instead of investigating where have I been double-talking, I allowed myself to goto anger and blame. in this I forgive me for not investigating the root cause of my cough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, my tendency to flirt with other women while in relationship with my current spouse is an act self-dishonesty. I see clearly my tendency to tease around and/or joke around is not cool, as all such is done within subtle hidden desires. I see/realize/understand, self-honesty requires absolute clarity in how I speak/communicate with other women while in a relationship, as there must be no room for flirting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, these are testing times, I see/realize/understand I must stand absolute clear in my dedication and commitment, there cannot be any slips.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, not living breath-by-breath is the cause, therefore I direct myself to live breath-by-breath in doing what is best for all, and I commit myself to absolute self-honesty.

When and as I see myself to wanting, desiring, seeking others to comfort me during any health sickness, I stop, I breathe, I see/realize/understand, nobody is my nurse, it is entirely upto me to take self-responsibility and care for my body.

When and as I see myself blaming others for not attending for myself, my health, I stop, I breathe, I see/realize/understand, that I am alone responsible for my health, and blaming is simply shifting that responsibility for another which is not cool.

When and as I see myself double-talking, as in the form of subtle flirts with women, I stop, I breathe, I see/realize/understand this is an old pattern, seeking the attention of women,  under the cover of joking around or teasing around, I stop, I breathe, I let go off the need for attention from women, I remain here as breath/breathing. I see clearly any form flirting is not acceptable, as I wouldn’t like it if my partner did the same.

further, I see/realize/understand, I alone am responsible for my health, my well-being. I am here breathing.

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