Day 124 – Project Management and the Meaning of Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear failing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear trying new things within the fear of failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus on how I will fail on a project instead of focusing on how to get the project done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about what others might be thinking about my abilities to finish the project, instead of directing myself to get the job done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I am more focused on trying to appease the management than actually trying to solve the problems and get the job done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I am more focused on what others may think of me, than actually moving myself to get the job done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to list mountains of obstacles rather than finding solutions through them to get the job done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak about obstacles rather than speak about solutions to them, so that the job can get done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that crying and mourning about obstacles and challenges is not going to assist me or anyone else, in that I forgive me for just listing obstacles rather than speaking/discussing/finding solutions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, yes there are obstacles and challenges to any project, but to be stuck in them is the lazy way out, instead of directing myself out of the mountains that I have placed in front of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that I have an inherent fear of not getting the job done even before putting my best foot forward, within this I forgive me for not applying myself totally and 100%.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, my urge and eagerness to show off, get attention, stand on the way of me actually moving myself to get the job done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I am more interested in giving excuses, listing obstacles, or showing off little success with a big noise, in this I forgive me for not taking responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the core problem is that I have not taken 100% self-responsibility for the given assignment or project, therefore just give excuses to hide behind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I have not even look at the problem/project details 100%, instead already listing obstacles and excuses to get out of it, rather than moving myself with utter focus to get the job done.

i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I can support myself by writing out the project details, issues, actual obstacles, and writing out a plan of action to solve them, instead of just whining and mourning about obstacles.

I see/realize/understand, writing out on a paper, the goal, the problem, the experiments, the results, the data, the plan of actions, etc, looking at them without any judgments and seen them as myself totally 100% is the way forward, not whining and mourning about obstacles.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, every point/project/assignment/obstacle/difficulty/person/event/thing is here as myself, I am facing ME, therefore I direct myself embrace this moment here, this event/thing, and apply myself to it 100%, with complete self-responsibility to direct the point to a completion, to get the job done, to deal with the moment in what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the core problem is not taking self-responsibility, not directing myself to study, to put in the physical time/space, instead of just asking other people for help because I am not willing take the responsibility to help myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, just asking for help from others as a way to get the job done is irresponsible/lazy. I am here to direct myself to solve the problem, or direct the moment in what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, talking to people, or asking for suggestion, or asking for direction is cool, as long as it is done with self-responsible manner, instead of wanting them to solve my problem so I can get lost in my daydream land while others fix my issues is not the way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I have to read/investigate/study/try/experiment, before I can just blindly ask people for help.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, in order to solve a problem, to get a job done, to finish a project, I need to have a written list of steps, so that I can walk thru them, instead of hoping it will be done somehow by magical means.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, there are many points to a project, and I must direct myself to understand, resolve each point equally. I see/realize/understand my tendency to dismiss small points in favor of big points is not the way, directing each point to completion will bring the project to a total completion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, focusing on easy path is the not way, rather focus on a path that will get the job done, easy or difficult is a matter of perception, and even if a path is ‘difficult’ I see/realize/understand walking through it breath-by-breath will get the job done, instead of whining and mourning about obstacles.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not realize, every point, every option, every step, is equally important to get the job done. I see/realize/understand in trying to skip steps or avoid difficult steps is the not way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, racing towards the end is not the way, instead resolving each step, each point, each obstacle, equally breath by breath is the way to get the job done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to race myself towards the end of the project so that I can claim the trophy from the upper management, instead of breathing breath-by-breath, step by step (without thinking) move myself to get the job done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, to get the job done, I must move myself step by step equally as in breathing breath by breath, each step is equally important, nothing is dismissed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing steps through the project and therefore I forgive me for seeking shortcuts, instead of actually directing myself to get the job done.

I see/realize/understand, focusing on obstacles, or challenges, is not the way, instead I direct myself to see a clear path to getting the job done, and writing the steps out, and then walking each step breath by breath, paying equal attention to each step till its complete.

I see/realize/understand my tendency to walk the easy path is the not way, first I see a path, write it down, then, step by step, walk breath-by-breath, till the job is done. In this I see/realize/understand, racing to finish the job is not the way, instead I move myself breath by breath to get each step done, so that step by step the project comes to a completion.

I see/realize/understand, I must take total self-responsibility for each step, not passing it around, not giving up, not crying for help, instead taking self-responsibility fully, and then, discussing with others for broader analysis if needed, I see/realize/understand, responsibility, and initiative must come from me, at every step on the way.

Within this, I see/realize/understand, I must remain as breath/breathing, without any thoughts moving within my mind, instead directing myself to walk each step thoroughly as I breathe.

I commit myself to investigate each step that involves in getting the job done.

I commit myself to look at each step with equal attention, not dismissing any step.

I commit myself to look for a path to finish the job instead of just focusing on the easy path.

I commit myself to investigate, learn, read, look up, research, each point in absolute detail to get the job done.

I commit myself to breathe, remain as breath not allowing any thought of fear/worry/anxiety/excitement/anger/desire/hope to dictate me, as I see/realize/understand thinking any of those can sabotage getting the job done.

I see/realize /understand that getting a project done no matter how massive it is, is not a crowning ceremony, simply a point is brought to a completion, that’s all, and moving on to next breath, to next point.

I direct myself to live my life, point by point, breath by breath, giving myself 100% to each step of my life, in birthing what is best for all, including myself. Then of course someday I will die, but leaving a world that is best for all.

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