Day 138 – Why crave Attention from soon-to-be-dead people?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek attention from people whom I perceive as special. within this I forgive me for totally dismissing anyone whom I see as normal, or less than normal. I forgive me for seen people as special, normal, and less than normal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself view some folks as special and therefore desire their attention, while totally dismissing humans whom I see as less special, or less than.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the attention of happy people, within this I forgive me for dismissing anyone who appears unhappy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dismiss so-called unhappy, sad, grumpy, moody people, and I forgive me for not even want to have a chat with them, as if, if I give them attention I will lose something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the attention of pretty looking people. within this I forgive me for totally dismissing anyone who is not so pretty. within this I forgive me for dividing humans as pretty vs. not pretty, instead of seen them as equal and one as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the attention of high energy people as if they are gods.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bend over my backwards to high energy people to please them, appease them, to get their attention in return. within this I forgive me for totally neglecting, avoiding, dismissing anyone whom I see as low energy,  and depressed, instead of seen/realizing we are equal and one as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire glamorous people, and within this I forgive me for bending over backwards to suck up to them, so that they will pay attention to me. within this I forgive me for dismissing those boring humans and judging them as boring, as not so glamorous.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the attention of famous people, and within this I forgive me for bending over backwards to suck up to them, so that they will pay attention to me in return. within this I forgive me for not considering the normal people as worthy as equals as the famous ones, I forgive me placing, judging people as famous, and not so famous.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like and desire popular people, and within that I forgive me for bending over backwards to appease them, so that they will in turn pay attention to me. within this I forgive me for dismissing not so popular people, and I forgive me for deliberately avoiding anyone whom I see as an outcast, as if they are social untouchables.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suck upto rich people, and appease them, and desire to make them feel good, make them happy, so in turn they will pay attention to me. within this I forgive me for not realizing, that I never care for the attention of poor people, I could careless if they talk to me or not. within this I forgive me for treating the rich and the poor differently, instead of seen them equal and one as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like and desire powerful managers at work, within that I forgive me for sucking upto them, so that they will pay attention to me in return. I forgive me for ignoring, dismissing, those who are normal, silent type, believing that I must suck upto the powerful ones so that I can get their attention.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the attention of pretty women, good looking girls, hot and sexy girls, within this I forgive me for not realizing, that I crave for the attention from women, so that I can feel alive. I forgive me for sucking upto women so that they will pay attention to me in return. I forgive me for dismissing, ignoring the attention of women whom I see as ugly, fat, black, not so pretty to look at, or too manly, instead of seen/realizing women are here equal and one as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire, like and want the attention of spiritual masters, heros, gurus, spiritual teachers, and priests, within this I forgive me for sucking upto them, so that they will recognize me, they will like me, and they will pay attention to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire, like, want the attention to physically strong people, athletic people, sports people, and within this I forgive me for sucking upto them, so that they will in return pay attention to me. Within this I forgive me for totally dismissing any physical handicap persons, and I forgive me because I don’t give a damn about their very presence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire, like, and want, the attention of relatives who are popular and famous, while dismissing others entirely.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire, like, and want the attention of political leaders, and within that I forgive me for sucking upto them, so that in return they will pay attention to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire, like and want the attention of intellectuals, and those who are smart in computer/internet technology, and within this I forgive me for sucking upto them, appeasing them, pleasing them, so that they will in turn pay attention to me. within that, I forgive me for seen some people as not so smart, not so intellectual, not so educated, and therefore totally dismiss their attention and their presence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire, like and want the attention of doctors, lawyers, highly educated people, and those with a PhD, and within that I forgive me for sucking upto them, so that they will pay attention to me in return. I forgive me for dismissing anyone whom I perceive as not educated, backwards, slow, stupid, and lazy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire, like, and want the attention of actors/TV personalities/writers/singers/musicians and entertainers, within this I forgive me for sucking upto them so that they will pay attention to me in return.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire, like, and want the attention of business owners, property owners, landlords, within this I forgive me for sucking upto them, so that they will pay attention to me in return.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire, like, and want the attention of respected people, and within that I forgive me for sucking upto them, so that they will pay attention to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire, like and want the attention of people with many friends, within that I forgive me for sucking upto them, in the hope they will make me their friend and pay attention to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire, like and want the attention of people who have good looking partners, within that I forgive me for desiring their company, so that I might get a bit of attention from their partners.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire, like and want the attention of people with large families, within that I forgive me for sucking upto them, hoping and desiring to get their attention.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire, like and want the attention of people in authorities, uniforms, and positions, and within this I forgive me for sucking upto them, hoping, desiring to get their attention.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself desire the attention of people with fancy cars, and fancy houses, within this I forgive me for sucking upto them, so that they will pay attention to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore, neglect and not give a damn about elderly people, poor people, sick people, not so educated people, not so pretty people, not so energetic people, handicap people, blind people, deaf people, wheel char people, people with obvious birth defects, moody people, unhappy people, sad people, depressed people, basically anyone from whom I cannot get an energy boast. within that I forgive me for totally dismissing those people and their very presence/existence as if they mean nothing, their presence mean nothing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not give my attention to all equally, instead of giving my attention selectively only wanting their attention onto me in return, so that I can get an energy boast, can feel ALIVE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore, dismiss, and not give a damn about those people who don’t have high profile jobs, within this I forgive me for ignoring, dismissing farmers, laborers, constructions workers, bus drivers, cab drivers, waiters, nurses, street sweepers, mall workers, janitors, security guards, cleaners, painters, electricians, receptionists, admin staffs, movers, yard workers, technicians, plumbers, bank tellers, book keepers, bakers, cooks, teachers, tuition masters, clerks, unemployed people, etc. within this I forgive me for placing value on the type of work one does, instead of seen the value of LIFE in each. Because LIFE is the only value that is here.

I see/realize/understand, it is me desiring attention, in whatever form it may be, it is to get an energetic rush, a high so that I can FEEL ALIVE. Instead of breathing, here and living as a physical being, I have given so much value to energy attention from others, and I give attention to others only so that I can get something back in return. I forgive me for not seen the LIFE in all equally, and thereby dealing with each equally, as a physical being, while breathing within me.

When and as I see myself desiring, wanting, liking, preferring any human being more than anybody else, I realize/see/understand a red flag, I see that I am seeking attention from that being, hence seeking an energy high. Therefore, I stop, I breathe, I realize, all of us are here as physical beings as life, and I realize in 100 years from now, each being here that I crave their attention will be 6 feet under ground lying in absolute equality to me, so why not consider them as equals now, and live as a physical being, breathing here, in total equality.

I see/realize, there is really no point in craving for attention from anyone, I mean will I crave attention from dead people ? No. So why bother to crave attention from the soon-to-be-dead people? I mean all of us are soon-to-be-dead people. Therefore I see/realize/understand, we are equals here, as life, no need for any special-ness.

Just breathe.

Join us: www.desteni.org 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s