Day 168 – My skin color is Brown and Dark, that doesn’t mean I am a Terrorist: Flyer distribution fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience fear while distributing flyers because I fear what others might think of me if they see me walking around distributing flyers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear walking through the city dropping flyers from mailbox to mailbox.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that others might suspect me upon seen me, or worse they might think of me as some radical Islamic element distributing religious materials in the city.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen as a radical Islamic terrorist because I happen to look like a person of Pakistani origin.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen as a threat as and when others notice me distributing flyers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must not openly show my association with desteni or desteni materials in public such as in distributing flyers, within the belief that “they” might suspect me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that distributing desteni flyers as a radical act agaisnt the system therefore experience subtle fears about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, as long as I am not breaking any city by-laws in relation to flyer distribution, I have nothing to actually worry about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, as long as I don’t “invade” the house entrances when it clearly marked not to do so, I see/realize/understand, I am within legal limits in distributing flyers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, having lived in Canada for 20+ years, I must have received a zillion flyers over the years, yet when I distribute my first flyer, I allowed and experienced fear within me, by thinking and believing that I am doing something wrong or illegal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, as long as I am not “invading”, or breaking any city by-laws in relation to flyer distribution, I realize I have nothing to fear, it is simply my own pre-programmed fears that are raising its police-man head to stop me from doing this practical action.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience fear as I approach people’s mailboxes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that others might be “watching me” and so they might suspect me as a suspicious element who looks like a Pakistani, within this I forgive me for subtly accepting the idea that all those who look like Pakistanis must be suspicious. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen as a terrorist because I happen to look brown and dark in my appearance very similar to Pakistanis.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear sharing/distributing flyers within the fears that others might see me as a terrorist waking around distributing fundamentalist Islamic propaganda, when in fact I am a brown skin dark person distributing flyers to share a message about a world that is best for all. This has nothing to do with Terror or terrorism, only my own pre-programmed terror within my mind is directing me.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I may have to explain myself to authorities if they “catch me” distributing flyers about a world that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, while it is true I must obey the city by-laws and any notices prohibiting flyer-distribution, but other than that my fears I entertain are simply mine alone. In this I see/realize/understand, there is a policeman inside my head who will stop me from taking any practical actions that question the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I am pre-programmed to obey the system as it is, and further I realize I am pre-programmed to go with the flow of the system. So in this I see/realize/understand, my fears about distributing flyers is entirely a pre-programmed mind-fuck. Within common sense and within the city by-laws, I simply have to walk from mailbox to mailbox and drop off desteni flyers, sharing a message that is best for all.

When and as I experience fear as I step close to people’s mailboxes, I stop, I breathe, and I direct myself to move and get the job done. I see/realize/understand, if I am questioned by any figures of authority, I have ample to discuss about our world and the need for individual actions. In this I see/realize/understand, my fears are simply unfounded, pre-programmed junk.

When and as I experience fear of being seen as a terrorist who is walking around distributing flyers, I stop, I breathe, I realize this is TV induced fears of the modern times of our world, so I stop, I breathe, I simply direct myself to get the job done. If I am called to question, I realize I will have ample to discuss about within common sense.     

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