Day 175 – Nobody is listening to my internal conversations. Thinking is insane.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, when I think shit about other people, I am actually carrying shit about them inside my mind and possibly will experience shit in my relationship with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, carrying thoughts about others in my head in the start of experiencing shit in my relationship with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the simplest solution to peaceful living is to stop thinking shit about others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, once the thinking thoughts about others starts, it accumulates, the energy of it will create outflows.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, start of any bad relationship can be traced back to thoughts which I casually entertained about others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, a living being does not think, at least does not think shit compulsively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, as I think, I accumulate energy and it will manifest consequences accordingly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, thought by thought a mountain of energy can build up leading to unexpected outbursts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the key is the breathe and stop participating in thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I am addicted to thinking, just that one thought, just that one nasty imagination, just that one bitter memory, just that one spiteful comment, just that one more blame so that I can feel better. in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I have an addiction problem, addicted to thinking. Just one more time, Just one more thought, is the excuse to keep on thinking, mostly shit about others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, there is no way through thinking, there is no light at the end of the tunnel of thinking, there is no salvation in thinking. Communication, talking, listening, writing, planning, doing, on the other hand, are ways to get things done, instead of just thinking and hoping that others are listening to my internal conversations. In fact nobody is listening to me, I am just silently blabbering to myself, which is called thinking.

When and as I see myself to blabbering to myself, just thinking away, I stop, I breathe, I see/realize/understand, that all I am doing is making noise inside my head, within my grey matter, nobody is listening, no actually communication is going on, it just mental noise, therefore I stop, I breathe, and I direct myself to actually engage in real, actual, physical acts of communication, speaking, talking, listening, writing, planning etc, instead of just being stuck in the mind world.

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