Day 195 – One Life to live: stop time wasters, as time is indeed running out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I am wasting time throughout the day in small doses. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, even 5 minutes of time wasted can be utilized to read a blog.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize because I claim my days are very busy, so the wise thing to do is to cut down small doses of time wasters.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, this desteni process requires extensive writing and reading, therefore even 5-10 minutes here and there I can allocate to read a quick blog, in that way turning time wasters into accumulation of process activities. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, throughout the day, there are ample small doses of time wasters during which I could read or write instead of getting lost in my mind realities. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, debating, arguing, having religious conversations are small time wasters with a touch of utter stupidity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, living my life doing only essential things like making money and wasting the rest of my time is real waste of life. in this I see this process requires time extensively, therefore to waste time in mundane activities is self-irresponsible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I am not walking this process just for myself, as there are 1 billion humans starving and 21,000 dying daily, therefore I walk this process to birth myself as life and birth a world that is best for all. within this I see/realize just wasting time in mundane activities is pointless as time is indeed limited. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, birthing myself as life is something I must dedicate every moment to, because in that birthing of heaven on earth becomes a possibility. Otherwise why bother, just bump around in life doing nothing just watch TV and die away, who cares.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, time is indeed limited, I am  not going to live here forever, death will soon be here, therefore I see/realize wasting time is really a waste of my life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, this ONE LIFE to live, so must dedicate myself to birthing life through the physical, and to birth a heaven on earth, therefore wasting time is unacceptable. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, this ONE LIFE to live, to change self and to change this world from the hell it is now. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, living the life in watching tv, making money at the job, doing family things, going to movies, shopping, going on vacations, watching all the game shows on TV, going to church/temples, playing sports, etc are what normally considered as living the good life. in this I see/realize/understand, in this ONE LIFE to live, I still have to attend to jobs, family, gym, TV and all those things but with extra attention to not waste time, rather to equalize time for process activities and other activities. Because time is indeed running out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, my life is not about having just a good time and dying away, NO. I am here to change myself as life and change this world to a home that is best for all, from the current hell we have created. And that is a purpose worth living for. I mean what’s the point of living just to make money and have sex and then DIE away.

So I see/realize/understand, wasting time even in small doses is not acceptable, instead I direct myself to read a blog or speak Self forgiveness, or write a blog when and as I see myself gearing to waste time in small or big doses. 

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Day 194 – I am not a ‘Morning Person’ character can waste a lifetime.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, laziness is like happiness a mind/energy drug.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, giving into laziness is same as feeling excited, happy or sad, or depressed. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, laziness is due to lack of breathing effectively and not directing within a single breath, instead letting the mind decide what to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, laziness is when the mind tells me what to do, and I do so accordingly, instead of me within a breath moving/directing myself to act.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, there is a strong sense of laziness in the mornings as I wake up, a tendency to stay in bed longer, and avoid morning responsibilities, within this I forgive me for allowing to stay late and keep on thinking, accumulating mind energy/laziness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, there is a vast difference between waking up at 6am and 8am, as I did today, now looking back I see it was laziness that I accepted and allowed to the waste of 2 hours. within this I see/realize/understand, fear to take responsibilities, fear to face myself is the reason for lethargy and laziness in the mornings. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as not a morning person, and religious believe so that I am not a morning person, and please don’t expect me to be up with the arising sun, because I am not a morning person. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condemn myself within the judgement of myself as a not a morning person, not realizing simple laziness is the reason why I stay late in bed, instead of rising up in one single breath, moving/directing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and turn my self-judgement into a religious idea that I am not a morning person. within this religion now I have allowed myself to be stuck in it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and act religiously within my belief that I am not a morning person, simply because I behave/act to justify my morning laziness, within this I see I have not taken the self-responsibility to arise up in one single breath instead of giving into mind/energy cocktails in the morning further compounding the mind consciousness system. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I have allowed myself to struggle with this one singular point nearly every morning and always giving into the mind energy/laziness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, it’s a simple decision in one breath to move/direct myself to act/wakeup, instead I allow the mind/energy to direct me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, regret and feeling bad about waking up late only further compounds the scenario, all compounding the mind/energy cocktail. So I see/realize/understand, its what I am accepting and allowing, nothing more. 

I see/realize there is no other way than just getting up at 6am in one single breath, no need for regret, or feeling bad, or feeling pity, now that I realize it is what I am accepting and allowing. So I stop the allowance and acceptance of morning stay in bed laziness, and move myself to act/direct my day. I realize it will take consistent daily effort to break this decades old mind pattern. 

Hence I commit myself for a 21-day mind pattern breaker commitment to wake up daily at 6am in realizing that 7 to 6.5 hours of sleep is ample for the body. 

I commit myself to realize that I have wasted years and years in morning laziness everyday struggling with the same point of stay in bed laziness, so I see if I were to continue this pattern for the rest of my life, wow what a waste it would be, and my whole life I would have slept in, stayed in bed, remained lazy, and wasted 1 or 2 hours in the mornings for a whole life time. So I commit myself to this 21 days mind breaker marathon to wake up at 6am no matter what, I see it’s a breath by breath application, meaning, when the alarm goes on, a decision must be made, to get up or sleep-in, in one single breath.

 I commit myself to breathe and move/direct myself at 6am. In the pre-desteni days I would have said may God be my helper, now I realize, I am the only god who can help me in this morning nightmare, as I am the only decision maker, who must decide to wake up or sleep in. I breathe. 

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