Day 183 – Sleeping or waking up with Thoughts, is self-harm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wake up with thinking in the mornings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start the engine of mind with the first breath in the mornings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, thinking while trying to fall asleep at night keeps the mind engine working through sleep. in this I see/realize/understand complete breath awareness is the key to enter sleep.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, in thinking there is no actual/real/physical communication, it’s just noise echoing bouncing off the walls within my head, nobody is really listening or actually participating in my internal conversations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, as I think, each thought is building up energy, accumulating and compounding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, after all, the illusion of thinking is in fact producing some real which is energetic outbursts, the compounding/accumulating energy will lead to eventual outbursts. that’s the funny thing, unreal internal conversations in the mind resulting in real consequences in the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, this automated, simplest act of thinking is the cause for hell on earth, I mean everything starts as thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, thoughts/thinking is only a rehearsal or replay of an actual conversation/scenario yet to happen or already happened. in this I forgive me for letting the mind as myself to replay or rehearse various communications/scenarios.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, even the most innocent looking scenario playing in the mind is not without supporting buddies, as all similar memories from the past get merged into the current scene which then energetically compounds the situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the innocent looking act of thinking is probably one of the worse things I could do to myself, leading to god knows what consequences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, self-directed, self-responsible thinking is the proper application of the tool of thinking, not just mindless, aimless, automated, addictive thinking which only gives the buzz of energy like drugs.

Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, starting my day with thinking within the very first breath is self-imposed self-harm, now why would I want to do this to myself? Its insane.

so I direct myself to take responsibility to stop and breathe when and as I see myself gearing to start the engine of thinking as I enter sleep at night or as I wake up in the mornings. I stop, I breathe.

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