Day 193 – Mind mines the body into depletion. Stop emotional swings with Breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react energetically to people, instead of simply remaining as breath and breathing. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience different energy movements within me as I interact with various people, as some people I like and some I don’t like, and some are sweet and some are mean, not realizing its all my own energy experiences within me towards others. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience subtle forms of happiness or excitement in one case, and in another I have allowed myself to feel repulsed by the person, within this I forgive me for not realizing, its my own energy movements I am participating as mind/consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am an energy sucker, meaning, I walk around looking to get energy from people, in one way or another. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that almost all of my interactions with people are driven by the desire to get some energy from them in the form of attention. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to initiate conversations, or start a debate or start asking a question, all to get some energy attention from them to myself. in this I forgive me for fearing to live just as me as breath, instead of always wanting some form of energy attention from others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, the simplest solution is to just live here as breath/breathing, instead of looking/searching for energy from others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, as long as I crave for attention from others, I will remain a slave, an energy sucking zombie, never living here as life/breath. in this I forgive me for missing myself, missing my life here as breath/life. In this I see that if I spend my whole life looking for energy buzz from people then I will be running around, teasing, joking, talking all in the name of getting some energy buzz, but NEVER living my life here as breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, I am in fact not living my life, because I am too busy looking for energy buzz from people, so I am wasting my life always looking for somebody to give me a thrill, or I am too busy being depressed or down, sad etc. in this I see how I swing from one mindset to another based on the energy buzz I experience as I interact with people. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, as long as I experience myself differently based on who is around me or whom I am interacting with, then its clearly a sign of energy play, where I am based on mind energy, and I swing accordingly. Instead of simply breathing, and remaining here in every single breath, not giving into the mind, not letting the mind feel high or low. in this I see that breathing is the key.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, to feel high or low is mind energy movement and to produce this energy movement the mind has to mined it from the body, therefore I see that by participating in mind energy swings I am accepting and allowing the depletion of my physical body/substance. in this I see it’s self-harm to participate in mind energy swings; and foolish to believe that high swings as cool and low as bad, because both are equally detrimental to the body as energy is produced from the very body leading to depletion and eventually to death. in this I see/realize that breathing is self-caring as it protects the body/physical from depletion.

 I direct myself to stop when and as I see myself gearing for emotional energy swings of highs and lows, I simply stop, and I breathe.

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