Day 200 – I turned 44 today, my last birthday before 2012 Doomsday.

First thanks for all the well-wishes I received today, yeh I am 44 years of old. I was born in December 6th 1968 in Colombo, Sri Lanka. 44 years is a significant walk in life, its half-way or perhaps lot more than half-way specially given that life expectancy is around 70-72 for a Sri Lankan male. May be another good 25-30 years or so left. That’s being purely mathematical as you know well death could arrive any breath unnoticed.

What have I learned in the last 44 years? My life was a very normal life until I met desteni. I mean I did the normal things, went to church, temples, gurus, swamis, sex, the drinks, accepting and allowing social conditioning and limitations, family values, social values/norms etc, gave 2 cents about ‘world problems’, of course gave a lot in charity to make myself feel so good, celebrated Christmas, did the gift giving/receiving thing, you know the normal life stuff people do.

My whole life is purely a robotic living, meaning just did what everyone else did, never considered what’s actually going on here on earth. And besides it was never my job to fix this world anyway. You could say for the most of my life I was simply a walking zombie, totally unaware of anything, just only worrying about my day to day survival, entertainment, money, and of course SEX. 

Spirituality was a huge part of my life, nearly 20 years or so I gave into the joy of ‘love and light’, the spiritual journey, the newage wisdom, the enlightenment of meditation, japa chanting, etc. Always looking for that higher and higher wisdom, be it reading ancient books like the Bhagavat Gita or attending expensive retreats by the art of living headed by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. Did the Eckhart Tolle’s Power of Now thing for years, and a whole lot of other spiritual gurus and masters on the way. So much so it never occurred to me how much of my life is being wasted on hope and delusional spirituality. Awaiting for others to solve problems.

Politics was another big part of my life, as a Tamil minority growing up in Sri Lanka I had developed a strong liking for the political ambitions of the LTTE, and spent a number of years being emotionally attached to their goals, so much so it became like another religion to experience emotional highs. I recall how high and low I would feel as various war reports came out through the 80’s, 90s and upto the end. I could never see myself as someone who could let the ethnic nationalistic identity go, and embrace something entirely new. This is a significant change I have experienced in my life, after meeting desteni and walking their self-forgiveness process I lost all interest in ethnic politics and naturally lost interest in the LTTE and their political ambitions. However I must clarify here it is still a process I am walking so the emotions related to ethnicity still lingers around.  But what I have embraced through desteni is much more profound and encompasses the entire humanity and all life on earth.

Thank god I didn’t have to deal with things like addictions to drinking, smoking or drugs etc. I did the drinking part for fun but it never got out of hand. My biggest addiction was emotional stuff I was carrying within me. You could say I was addicted to the way I was accepting and allowing how I participated in my mind. This is another significant change I am facing as I walk the desteni process. My emotional patterns remained more or less constant through my life until I applied the self-forgiveness tool, now I see a significant shift, though much work still remains. Today is just day 200 in my journey to life process, still got 7 years of writing left to reach a point of Nothingness. Empty of all emotional and mental shit, end of brainwashing you may say. 

God has left me, rather I left God. That is a huge change in my life, such a central piece for nearly 40 years, I was baptised as a catholic on January 6th of 1969 as one month old baby, so you can imagine how ingrained god has been. And by walking the desteni process my goodness, this imaginary GOD fellow has gone, vanished, left forever. 

I been living in Canada for over half of my life. I came here in search of a good life, leaving behind the war zones and day-to-day fears of death. Canada is a pretty cool country, I got my post-secondary education here and life is generally good. But I never bothered to ask why can’t the whole world be a cool place like Canada? with universal health-care, clean water, nice roads, nice homes, healthy food, good educational system,  no starvation, no mass killings, no child labours, I mean a whole lot of decent things can be listed about Canada, yet none of it is globally embraced or suggested. Desteni has changed that, now I am walking a process to birth an Equal Money System which will turn this world into one gigantic Canada minus some of the bullshit we still have here like banks, money, loans, debt, unemployment, student loans, mortgages, porn industry, corruption, and Capitalism in general. A whole new world awaits, but it must be painfully birthed, and that is the process I am walking with desteni through writing and reading for now. In time, a political dimension will emerge touching the whole globe, so now you’re warned, be ready.

Am I enlightened at 44 suddenly thanks to desteni? Of course not. Certainly I have gotten rid of God, ethnic nationalism, spiritual drunkenness, religious madness, survival based living and utter apathy for world conditions, so yes I have got rid of them all. Now I am actually realistically and practically hopeful that a new world is within reach, and for that I must walk desteni’s Journey to Life process intensely, writing myself to freedom daily, and reading daily. A lot of shit has changed for better in my life, but I am no way a saint or swami, or an aspiring fucking guru. I am in fact only becoming a real human being, which I hope to attain within the next 7-14 years, by which I will be 58. And that is worth it, at least I will live as a real human being for the last part of my life, without wasting my whole life as a mindless zombie which by the way was my initial life plan/destination since December 6th of 1968.

Much has changed, and a lot more change is coming. One thing for sure, this planet is at a precarious point, nobody can deny that unless you’re completely brainwashed by spiritual/religious hope or utterly indifferent, you can see the hell in the making day by day, government by government, war by war, election by election, murder by murder, hell is here unfolding. Yet I am hopeful through the re-birthing of new humans by the desteni process, as the body of life, as a global group, we can establish an Equal Money System to revert the course of humanity/life on earth.

All that starts with re-Education, so on my 44th birthday, I like to leave you with one note: The gift of self-forgiveness, self-honesty, and self-writing and birthing of an Equal Money System for All. I know I had a lucky life so far, but many don’t have such luck, even as infants many die from starvation and hunger along with their mothers. So give yourself the gift of re-Education with desteni tools and courses to transform yourself and this Earth; in essence that much I have learned in my life so far which I am glad to share with you today.  

And please, don’t give a fuck about 2012 Doomsday predictions, as you will live and die in this hell facing every bit of consequence for what is being accepted and allowed here on earth and within yourself. And please don’t be stupid enough to commit suicide if the doomsday doesn’t arrive on schedule as promised by the Mayans or other doomsday proponents.  Be glad you’re alive to change yourself and this world, I know I am.

Happy birthday 🙂

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