I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste time thinking and believing that it’s ok to ‘take it easy’ during holidays.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, walking the desteni process is about my life, therefore holidays doesn’t mean the process is on hold. within this I forgive me for not realizing this process I am walking to deconstruct the mind patterns and install new life supporting patterns has no holidays. therefore I see/realize/understand if anything I must do more during holidays and quantify my process activities.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell myself that ‘I should take a break’ meaning not do any computer/internet activities for couple days because it’s the holidays. in this I see/realize/understand that my physical body of course needs movement/activity and rest, but that doesn’t mean complete shutdown, here I see it’s about activity management, consideration for what is best for myself, my body, my process, home, family, and some relax time without giving into excuses or mind tricks.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not realize, reading/writing and listening to process blogs/videos are equally important, without neglecting either part. I see/realize/understand that I have postponed blog reading for a while now, which is not supportive, so I direct myself to read the blogs daily at least for good 1 hour.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that a re-commitment is required here, because I see that I am spending a lot of facebook/music time for entertainment rather than using that time to actually listen/read process videos/blogs. Time is always there to read/listen, but I have avoided it by doing everything else.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, that listening to music can easily take up hours which I can use for process activities. Here again I need to relook at my commitment, I mean why don’t I use every breath for process activities? in this I forgive me for turning ‘relax’ time to completely postpone/avoid process activities and other activities in general just because its the holidays.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize time during holidays is not to be wasted, holidays doesn’t mean idle-days.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that holidays mean that I should just aimlessly waste time and do nothing productive. in this I forgive me for not directing myself to get things done during holidays, as there are lots of things piled up to be done.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that holidays means just shutdown, be a lazy vegetable, not realizing holidays is a time to relax, and to have a very productive period to get things done which otherwise would have been neglected. In this I see/realize to get the best out of the holidays, it is wise to operate as a normal working day, and not goto so-called relaxing/shutdown mentality,
So during this christmas holiday break, I direct myself to observe when and where I wasting my time, and accordingly stop it, and do something useful instead. Because I see/realize time can easily go to ‘entertainment’ and ‘relaxing’ during the holidays. So I commit myself to read/write/listen and attend to the desteni-i-process activities. Basically I have no time to waste doing much ‘entertainment’ or relax or even oversleep. I see/realize in the name of holidays wasting time is so easy to do.
This one life to live, and so there are actually no holidays, no time to shutdown, as I can shutdown in the grave for eternity, so why bother to waste time now while I am living/breathing here. Therefore I direct myself to use this holidays to effectively spend time doing things that matter, either process work, home work, family work and yes bit of relaxing, entertainment, travel activities.
I direct myself breathe and move myself to act/read/write/listen and do other physical activities instead of this ‘shutdown’ lazy mode I am in now.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate holidays to laziness, therefore naturally go into a lazy, inactive mode during holidays. I stop, I breathe and I direct myself to be ACTIVE during the holidays. No wasting time.
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