Day 224 – Nice one moment, Nasty the next is uncool. Breathe to Self-Calmness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I have never ask the question what it means to be a stable/constant/non-reactive human, regardless what time or mood, or situation I am in? because I see/realize that as moods/thoughts/emotions take over I can be the nastiest fucker there is, in that proving myself to be untrustworthy/reactive.

in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize though I expect others to be stable and constant towards me in how they treat me and how they show their ‘niceness’ to me, yet in this I see/realize that I have subject myself to thoughts/emotions/feelings/moods in how I deal with others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize clearly I don’t like it when others fluctuate in their ‘niceness’ towards me, yet, I have allowed myself to subject my niceness towards them based on my emotions/feelings/thoughts. Nice guy or evil guy depends on how I feel.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people based on how nice they are, either I hate them or like them depending on their niceness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to swing from state to state and accordingly be nasty, mean or nice to others, not seen/realizing I am doing exactly what I don’t like others to do unto me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the key is self-stability, not moved, not directed, not motivated by my thoughts/emotions/feelings and moods. I see/realize how nasty, evil and unpleasant I can be to others as I let my emotions run me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I must live, be, and give that which I want from others first. I must be the stable constant reliable person, not that swinging snake who depend on his mood will strike harshly or be nice, the calm before the storm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize its not cool for people in my world when they do not know how I will react and be in the next hour, as I could be a nasty evil, or this nice guy, but its unknown as all depends on what mood I am in. so others have to brace themselves for the unexpected storm which could roll them over anytime. in this I see/realize that I have a self-responsibility for self-stability, to self-calmness, not allowing, accepting to roll over people depending on what mood I am in.

Because simply I don’t like it when others are unpredictable, unreliable, moody and never-know what to expect, they would be nice or the darkest evil that will roll me over with their moods, anger, and their situational-frustration.

I forgive myself that I have accept and allowed myself to not realize, self-stability, self-calmness, self-breathing, self-here is the key, not allowing myself to rollover others depending on what mood I am in. This is not acceptable.

When and as I see myself rolling over others with my thoughts/emotions/feelings and moods, I stop, I breathe, I let go, as I see/realize it is uncool to be this hot/cold, nice/nasty, mean/friendly person, clearly I don’t like it when others do that to me. I like it when people in my world are stable towards me in their emotional approach towards me. I don’t like it when they are nice one moment and a total snake in the next. This is not the way to develop relationships, so I stop, I breathe, as I realize it is a great self-responsibility to myself and towards others to remain as breath, breathing here. Giving myself and others that calmness, stability, tolerance, ‘peace of mind’, as no thoughts/emotions/feelings/moods running me, just me here as life, as physical, as breath.

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