Day 230 – Missing a day of writing just for Today? No, write something.

It’s nearly midnight, I am feeling a bit tired, and a strong feel to give it up for today. But I realize giving up writing even for a day will accumulate day by day, so missing is not cool, specially when there is a feeling to give up for ‘just today’. So I sit, to write something, even if it is a micro-blog.

In me I saw today that I have to slow down, very much so, I have to slow down, meaning, I have to breathe, and slow down in my mind and speech.  WTF, is going on, I was rushing and speaking random shit, not considering even for a moment to breathe, to slow myself down.  Others are showing me that I should slow down and calm down, not cool to just spit out random shit. A calmness is missing, instead I have become more loud and noisy I am told, that makes sense, because I wasn’t breathing each breathe here. I got too excited.

So some points to look at: fear of loss, fear of not getting attention, not breathing with awareness, desires, wants, needs. And all that comes down to one breath: here, this one breath.  If I could direct myself to breathe this one breath, here with awareness, then all is cool. I am here. Not rushing, not making up stories, not making noise. An inner silence and possibly therefore an outer silence. I speak only when it is required to share common sense. I mean, wtf, who needs a loud speaker.

Time to slow down, time to breathe, really, otherwise I am asking for a lot of trouble. I direct myself to slow down and breathe each BREATH here. I realize that is my core problem. So I commit myself to breathe with awareness leading to inner and outer silence, not participating in noise inside or outside. When and as I see myself too excited and too much talking and too much speaking shit out, I STOP, I breathe, realizing that I am on a roll, so I direct myself to stop, to breathe and be here, participating with others in common sense.

More tomorrow…..

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