Day 236 – Thinking is Never Enough even after 1.5 million Thoughts. Breathe to stop the monkey mind, or die slowly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to again fail to breathe and support myself, and instead believe that I can ‘think’ through the issues.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that thinking is the problem, therefore the belief that I can think through is an oxymoron.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize I can think all I want, nothing is going to change, because thinking is just a mind/fantasy activity, while breathing is here, physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must keep on thinking, and thinking within the idea that I can find the clues, solutions within thinking. this is not so, thinking compounds and creates more mind energy for the mind conscious system. so there is no salvation in thinking, if anything, I see/realize breathing is the only way out. As with breathing, I am here, each breath, anchoring myself here with each breath and standing here as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize my life is totally pre-programmed, and my mind is filled with system implants to control me, so that I can be a slave feeding energy to the mind conscious system and then to the heavens. And so why would I want to sacrifice my body in the altar of mind as a slaughtered lamb for the God of consciousness? in this I see/realize every time I participate in the mind, thinking, feeling, getting emotionally caught up, I am simply letting the system implants do their work, sucking the physical energy out of me, depleting me, the substance of me, and leaving me nearly dead with my full permission.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give permission to deplete my body, and I see/realize it is me who is depleting my body by my participation. There is nobody else doing it for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, until I STOP my mind in every breath, with a solid decision to do so, no change is possible because my mind is still in control, the master of me, of my physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize if I were to start thinking, there can be tons of thoughts, and more, it will never end, until I die, so I see/realize that thinking is a subtle form of suicide, giving permission to deplete the body till death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize, there are million thoughts that can come up, and one after the other, one question after the another, millions of thoughts can be entertained and still not be enough of thinking, as that is the nature of thinking, which is never enough, therefore I see/realize the best is to just STOP thinking, or just think millions and millions of thoughts and die away.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize ‘problems’ are there to make sure that I will be STUCK in the mind ‘THINKING” that is the base design of me, to keep on thinking, until of course I die, then, no more thinking. FUCK. What a bullshit system I have allowed myself to be STUCK within, in this I see/realize I have willingly walked into a living gallows, which is thinking.

I see/realize living means breathing, here, each breath, living does not mean THINKING, Thinking means slow death.

When and as I see myself thinking within the idea that I MUST think this one important vital key thought, I STOP, I breathe. realizing thinking is not the answer. However, I direct myself to ‘think’ the practical stuff when and as I see the need to think, and remain silent rest of the time. I realize thinking is a life or death issue.

Why would I want to kill myself by thinking? It is my responsibility to honor my body, my life and LIVE in this world so I can effectively participate in changing myself and this world, otherwise I am basically saying ‘go to hell’ for myself and for the earth which is already a hell. so I stop, I breathe and I direct myself to change me and change this world, to make use of this one life I am living instead of wasting in the bloody MIND thinking.

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