Using the excuse of ‘not feeling well’ is uncool, it’s the old familiar song to give into resistance and lethargy. So here I am breathing, and directing myself to jot down something for today’s blog. Sometimes when the resistance is so strong, or feeling like giving up for one day, I just have to breathe and do the physical movement of writing. Here I am not too concerned about structure or style, or sticking to any rules, as long as I can move myself to get something written for today, I will be satisfied with it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to take it easy just for tonight, meaning not write, skip for the day.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must be a PRO by now after 250+ days of writing, which is not the case, laziness and resistance still gets the best of me, so I direct myself to move myself to do the physical act of writing. So here I am writing something for today.
Breathing is the key, so much personal hell could have been prevented just by breathing ONE breath effectively. There has been in the news yesterday and today about this track superstar, nicknamed Blade Runner, who apparently shot his lady 4 times and killed her. Don’t know if he mistook her for an intruder or was it an act of domestic violence went to the extreme, whatever it is, one person is dead and another will rot in jail for life, effectively destroying the lives of two and their families.
Considering the first scenario: where he LIVED out his fear of intruders and was ever ready to go into combat with them, and in this case he mistook his lady for an intruder during the early hours on Valentine’s day. Sounds a bit fishy to me, but then again, I don’t know the details, may be an honest mistake happened, while he was too paranoid about intruders and awaiting for combat anytime. So the golden moment of anticipated fear and consequential action came, a figure was walking around, and he shot the apparent intruder, a mistaken identity, the love of his life was dead.
Other scenario is domestic violence, where rage, anger, arguments had gone wild, and the superstar track athlete had no time to contain his speedy mind, and so shot and killed the lady of his life, model, law graduate, child of god, Reeva Steenkamp.
In either scene, lives are lost and tragedy for all involved. But this madness could have been prevented simply in ONE BREATH, yes in ONE BREATH. You see breathing grounds you here, it stops the madness of the mind, it stops the fear and anger in the mind, it can prevent domestic violence/murder or accidental shootings.
So I see/realize how important it is to breathe and calm self down, to contain self in and as breathing. Not allowing thoughts, emotions and feelings to dominate the mind, which can easily accumulate and compound then all is too late. I direct myself to breathe and be here.
When and as I see myself lost in my mind and consumed by its contents like thoughts, emotions and feelings, I stop, I breathe. As I see/realize things can easily accumulate and pile up, so I am here, I breathe, I let go. I live here in as LIFE, not as a paranoid jealous mind. But as breath of LIFE as physical.
May you Rest in Peace Reeva Steenkamp, and for you Oscar Pistorius you will have ample time to reflect either about your irrational fears of intruders or about your violent rage of murdering the lady of your life. There will be ample time to think, reflect, and regret. The law of land may not forgive you, but I hope you will discover the art of self-forgiveness, and so please self-forgive yourself, correct yourself, rebirth yourself. No man is an eternal demon regardless how demonic your action may have been. It won’t be an easy walk for your Oscar Pistorius, but it is a Journey to Life you must walk nevertheless, because now only self-forgiveness can aid you, and please don’t jump to the religious wagon. God cannot save your sorry ass, only you can save you. But nothing can prevent the consequence for your action, that you must face. And for now while you sit alone in the jailhouse, breathe, yes breathe, and remember ONE BREATH can prevent madness.
That’s it for tonight.
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