Be here. Going to the mind is just that fantasies, worries and anxieties, deal with what is here, the physical reality. Because mind knows no bounds, it can go all the way either direction, past or future. There is no end to what the mind as me can come up with. A picture, a video, a news item, some food, some scene, a city, a restaurant anything can activate a memory or anxiety.
Then I am clearly not here, not breathing, certainly not blogging or writing myself to freedom. I find even when I am writing my mind can just take on a tour de France of fantasy or anxiety, it’s gone somewhere even while I write here. So the key is to breathe and self-support myself. Be in the body, breathe, stop participating in the thinking machine, there is no end to it, till the end.
I mean imagine all that self-abuse that goes into the body via thinking, worrying, fantasizing etc. for the mind to exist in and as energy, the energy must resourced from the physical body. (Read heaven’s blog these days, some cool tips about how the mind as energy is produced from the physical body). Same kind of shit happening at a physical level, energy is resourced from the physical existence, so that energy can be used to sustain the elite, the heavens etc.
Self-writing is cool, writing myself to freedom, it’s me, my mind, my accepted and allowed shit inside the grey matter called the MIND. Its bit like a mining filed. I am still learning the art of self-writing. Like any other skill, the art must be practiced and practiced. This is a 7 years of self-writing, a journey to life.
I have made some improvements in this path so far, but still require a strong dedication, a commitment and discipline, so that I can improve and develop myself and my self-writing skills. All though self-forgiveness, and self-corrective statements and actually living thereof.
I have noticed that there is much hesitation in me to write, it’s not an easy task by any means, yes self-writing is cool, but as I said, a dedication is needed, it’s not my second nature yet, not like breathing. May be I have to work on my breathing at the same time, because breathing is the speed of the physical existence, as you breathe, you move with the physical existence.
I strongly recommend for anyone to join that FREE course desteni is offering, you get to work with your thoughts, emotions and feelings, you get to identify them, write about them, and that is the best part: writing. As I said, writing is cool, and this is something I really want to work at more. My flow is not cool yet, I get stuck, I pause, it’s not a natural flowing of words like a river, lots of pauses, lots of thinking, I mean it’s not smooth. But I refuse to let any such excuses to stop me from writing, there is no stopping now, never, I will write till I die, keep on writing, not that I want to be a greater writer or anything, no, I just want to write my shit out. And I want to write properly, a friend of mine who recently read my blogs told me that the writing here is atrocious, he is into language and poetry etc., so I am sure he has a sharp eye for English and writing.
But I won’t’ take his comments personally, but rather use it to improve my writing skills, my expression, my wordings, and then my who I am. I mean, it doesn’t matter how great my writing or English is, if I am a fucked up dishonest being that’s it, game over, one last life to live is wasted.
Reading Bernard’s blog today was cool, he says, we have destroyed so many planets over eons of time because of self-interest living, again and again we have come to destroy and this time around we are doing the same to this eye of the universe, the Earth.
So I will write some self-forgiveness now, to release the shit I have allowed and accepted within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and fear that my writing is atrociously bad, and within that I forgive me for not seen/realizing I just have to improve my skills and practice more.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and think that my writing sucks, and therefore I will never make this self-process to freedom.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself against other destonians and feel bad that I am not a good writer as many are here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize in comparing my writing against others I am not gaining anything, in fact, I am being counterproductive. Comparison is useless.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize this is a self-writing journey to freedom, it’s a self-process, this is not a show off process. Therefore I direct myself to breathe and calm down. And get the job of writing done instead of comparing and judging myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize all comparisons starts as thoughts in the mind, therefore I direct myself to breathe and stop participation in the mind. I breathe, I stop the mind, and I am here.
I breathe with my whole body, I direct myself to breathe with my whole body. I realize that this life is short, I could die anytime, so no point in wasting time in the mind instead I direct myself to breathe and be here. To change myself, to participate in birthing a heaven on earth. I direct myself to improve my writing skills by writing more.