Day 296 – Getting stuck at Obstacles character.

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize ‘giving excuses’ is pretty lame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize ‘telling the problem’ is ok, but then where is the solution? In this I see/realize that just listing problems is one thing, the easy thing, but suggesting/investigating solutions is the responsible thing to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give one excuse after another, in that not see/realize that all I am doing is trying to avoid taking responsibility by hiding behind so-called problems/obstacles/excuses.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize, giving excuses is a way of avoiding responsibility. This is so clear to see, “look so many obstacles” in that what I am really saying is that ‘hey I can’t bother looking for solutions so lets be stuck at obstacles’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that I have developed a habit to just see the obstacles and not see a solution through them. Basically I stop at obstacle stage, instead moving through them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that just seen obstacles is a lazy man’s way to do projects where he stops at the first sign of difficulty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize I must direct myself to walk through the obstacles not just get stuck at obstacles, which is the lazy man’s way of doing things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that my habit of just listing obstacles is self-sabotaging, it’s not helping me to expand and grow. I mean who wants a person to list just problems without equally providing solutions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that my habit of hiding behind obstacles is not assisting me, not helping me to move through them and overcome them. In this I see/realize how I have utilize obstacles to take cover, to hide behind and never really take self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act childishly by giving lame excuses and obstacles so that I don’t have to move through the project, can just stay stuck at obstacles instead of finding solutions and walking through the wall of obstacles.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just only present obstacles one after the another instead of giving/providing/investigating/researching solutions.

Here I see/realize that listing problems is OK, but not providing/suggesting solutions is not cool, because then all I am is just a whiner/mourner, one who just say “that is not working, this is not working, that thing is broken, this thing is broken, or he didn’t reply, or she didn’t get back to me, or balalaha”, so many obstacles, and getting comfortable almost like sleeping on a bed of obstacles comfortably, without moving/directing/walking through obstacles so solutions are found/presented.

Of course, there are 2 sides to obstacles, #1 its a wall, #2 its a door, so I have the pattern #1, where I kind of fall asleep saying “oh well, so many obstacles, can’t do anything”, whereas now I direct myself to adopt the #2 way, where reality based obstacles are turned into doors, through which I can move. I mean in this reality, there are reality based obstacles, tons of them in fact, but falling sleep on them is not the way, rather, walk into it, walk through it, find solutions, propose solution, investigate, research, experiment, establish communication, open doors, meet people, talk to people, ask questions, look for examples, ask for help, study, read, google, etc, etc etc, so that I am engaging actively not just falling asleep on the bed of obstacles.

When and as I see myself giving/listing obstacles, I see/realize that I am letting obstacle take roots, so I stop, I breathe, and I direct myself to ask/see/research/investigate/study solutions. 

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