Day 303: Acting like a mean GOD when others ask for Help.

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior to another when I am asked to help with anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume a superior position and then make snide, condescending remarks to put down others when they ask me for any assistance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume that others are stupid and therefore worthy of been mocked and insulted when they ask me for help/assistance.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act like a leader and assume a position of arrogance when others ask me for any technical assistance, in that I forgive me for giving myself the superior position.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act like a stupid dumb person who don’t know anything when I need some technical assistance while taking on the opposite role and insult others when they ask me for help.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with so-called stupid people especially when they ask me for help.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume arrogance and aggression when others ask me for help.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act rude and mean when others ask me for technical assistance in that pretend like some kind of a techo god. In this I clearly see how I put on the role/mask/personality of arrogance and superiority just to pretend like a God, by being mean and nasty to others just because they ask me for help.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I know anything technical then it apparently gives me a GODLY status. A god among fools.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act like a god and assume an arrogant role when others ask me for help, instead of being humble and assisting others as myself, just like how I liked to be helped.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend like a god when others ask me for help, in that be and act as a rude mean nasty fucker, making snide rude comments just because others are asking me for help.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be rude and mean just because others are asking me for technical assistance in areas where they are unfamiliar, in that little ask for help, I became a GOD and acted like a mean slave master.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to raise my voice, and make arrogant physical postures when others ask me for help, instead of being humble and assisting others as myself. Just like how I liked to be helped.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to insult and humiliate people when they ask me for help.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can be rude and nasty when people ask me for help, in that assume them to be stupid, and so assume that I can be mean to stupid people. In this I forgive me for seen/judging others as STUPID and DUMB just because they ask me for help.

When and as I see myself acting like a rude, mean, nasty GOD when others ask me for help/assistance, I STOP, I Breathe. In this I see/realize that the way to go is to be humble and support another as how I would like to be supported.

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Today’s blog came about from a pattern that I have lived for long time, basically when somebody ask me for any kind of technical help (how to do that, or this, etc.), I assume a role where I think I can be mean and nasty to them, so I end up talking them down, acting like a little god to them. I mean this is nasty, instead of assisting just like how I would like to be supported, I assume a rude, mean role.

Other day somebody asked me how to do a specific task, and while I was helping him, showing him the details, I can see that I was talking him down, treating him like a stupid little idiot with a condescending tone. I mean, who do I think I am? A GOD? So this is unacceptable, it’s a role I play to make myself feel good, a GOD at last.

When and as I see myself to acting like a god when others ask me for help, I stop, I breathe. When and as I see myself acting rude and mean when others ask me for help, I stop, I breathe. When and as I see myself making snide rude comments when others ask for help, I stop, I breathe. I mean is this how I like to be treated? Golden rule, treat others like as you like to be treated. I mean no secret there. I direct myself to calm down and breathe when others ask me for help, instead of going to a superior arrogance position. I guess they remind me of myself, how I ask for help all the time, so as they remind me, I get annoyed, hence I attack them/myself with vengeance. So I stop this, I breathe. Just assisting others as I like to be treated. 

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