Daily writing continues. Breathing is a good way to start writing. Even after 300+ days of writing, the tendency postpone, neglect is still around, meaning still looking for ways to skip days, find excuses, reasons, justifications why I can miss a day or two. Getting on with it is the key, just start writing, then it happens, the physical movement against mind-patterns to procrastinate, postpone.
I realize my reading skills are not on par, rather poor actually, I was reading some journey to life blogs and half way through I tend to skip fast, a sense of mind-tiring takes over, clearly a sign of inability to read, lack of reading skills. So I direct myself to get on with the Techno-Tutor software I have, to assist me in developing my vocabulary, reading and writing skills. This is a commitment I have to make to make Techno-Tutor a daily part of my life, at least a good 15 minutes of typing away words as they flash by. It’s like playing a game, so much fun as the words flashes away in quick/fast pace, which requires alertness, paying attention etc. And moreover it will assist me in reading, grounding myself here, to stay here. Reading is a physical activity, will ground me here. So that’s a point I have to take on right away, no more postpone.
I cannot read effectively means I will be told about my reality and I will have to rely on what others tell me, because apparently I have no effective skill to read, understand the reality by myself. That’s what the religious people do as they don’t’ read in great detail, simply ‘believe’ what is being told by the Imam, or the pastor, or monk, or swamis, or gurus etc, effectively falling into the hands of the masters. So yes reading skill is something I have to pay extra attention; make a dedication to read every day play with the Techno-Tutor vocabulary helper.
No I am not too old to develop learning skills, who said that, well my mind just said that. Why this self-doubt is here? Why do I doubt my ability to learn and develop, improve my reading skills? Why is this doubt here? Who put this doubt here? Well I did, by accepting and allowing, listening to the voice in my mind, I allowed the doubt to exist. So I stop the doubt, I stop the voice in the head, thanks but no thanks. Mind is so good at self-sabotage; well only if I allow it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize reading skill is like any other practical skill, the more I do, the better I become. So I direct myself read, write, and invest time in Techno Tutor.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to secretly believe that I am too old to focus on reading skills which are apparently for kids only. So I forgive me for thinking and believing that developing reading skill is not for me at this stage, rather for kids only. I stop this self-limiting idea.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as too old to learn or improve on how to read, thinking and believing its only for kids not for adults. How insane is that.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the idea that ‘I have to learn how to read effectively’, not seen/realizing that reading skill is something one must work at, it’s not like breathing, it requires work, training.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not a great reader, and reading is not for me, I stop this self-limiting idea.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself, prohibit myself, by thinking and believing that I am somehow a handicap at reading, not seen/realizing it is my own self-imposed idea.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself from learning or improving new things, believing that I cannot learn new stuff anymore, not seen/realizing my problem is reading skills, which I am lacking now, it’s not a judgment, but common sense realization, therefore I direct myself to learn, improve my reading skills, and I direct myself to employ Techno-Tutor to assist me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize a regular routine of practice with Techno-Tutor and regular reading can improve my reading skills, and this is proven, so the only question why am I not starting, what is holding me back? Is it my innate fear of failing? Or do I believe that I cannot learn, or improve. I stop this self-limiting idea.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself, I stop, I breathe.
Daily reading is another area I have to focus on, read anything, read Journey to Life blogs, equal money system publications, any desteni materials, writings by Chris Hedges, I love reading his views btw, lots of common sense. And not just reading, but comprehension, understanding, I tend to read but not really actually understand the information. So here I have to slow down breathe and walk the information instead of rushing to ‘finish’ reading as if finishing somehow will magically make me comprehend the information, no, no such magic, I have to slow down breathe and realize the presented information.
So here I am, slowly but surely moving through the lethargy and laziness to write for today, again I have proven to myself, get moving, get on with it, that’s the way. Writing is the way to end laziness to write, or procrastination. Doing is the way to end non-doing.
Breathing helps. Be in the body, breathe with awareness, and be attentive of the breath. I mean, a simple thing like breath is here, and ignoring it is such a waste. And to improve my reading skills effective breathing is important.
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