I have to write a blog today, have been missing a few here and there. Though I see there is a slight resistance, calling it tiredness is easy way out, but I am pushing through, just keep on writing, I mean there is always something to write. There is so much bullshit going on in me and in this world at large. Even just listening to people talking in a café can give many subjects to write about, at this very moment I hear a young couple, must be in their early twenties, arguing about something, looks like he was going through her emails, sort of spying on her, and she is pissed off, well I don’t blame her. I mean, trust is key to relationships, if you have to break-into your partner’s email and spy on them, oh man, something is seriously wrong there.
Yeh right ‘fucked up’ he admits it too. So is this blog tonight about eavesdropping? It is kind of funny listening to couples arguing, especially the young ones, it’s getting spicy, now I am not being cool here, listening to other’s talking and writing a blog about their material. Fuck it. Well, now he is confronting her about texting to another guy; may be they are in their teens, now there is silence, questioning about texting put the couple in an odd spot, I guess he hit a soft spot. He is constantly questioning her now, well, I better leave this romantic boxing match alone, let them sort it out. I bet they will both beat me up if they knew I am writing my blog based on their ‘discussion’.
Love, desire, and fear. Desire and fear loss goes hand in hand. First the desire becomes so out of control, especially if the other is out of this world hot/handsome/beautiful, then you get the object of your desire, and then what happens? The fear of loss kicks in. oh no, he is possessed by fear of loss, he is just nonstop questioning her, I am getting the sense that fear of loss is possessing him. I suppose I have been in his shoes, where I become completely possessed by fear of loss, and then I am gone, irrational, fucked up.
Anyways, looks like texting can land couples in hot water. You text the wrong person, or at the wrong time, can easily get caught. It’s all about quick excitements, energy rush, mind is having loads of fun, a quickie for the mind, texting is a perfect tool for the mind to feed on.
The bottom line is lots of shit going on, minds are going crazy. In this I see/realize I have a major responsibility to myself, for my mind, to tame my mind so to speak. I mean it’s so easy to fall into these energy quickies, nothing like a little nasty text message, it’s so tempting. And you will be tested to the absolute, and perhaps that’s why texting is here, to test you.
Wow, so many little ways to get energy highs, a little hi, can go a long way. These are the days of temptation, seriously. Money, sex, gossip, power, all of it can be tempting. I mean power over others in so many ways is tempting.
This is where breathing is self-supportive and helps in self-stability, every moment matters, I mean, a text message can come in a moment, 1 text message in 1 moment can destroy your life. It is a powerful temptation. So the key is to breathe and remain here in every breath. Otherwise you will fall for the sugar coated donut, so yummy, so addictive; such is the power of energy addiction, the stuff the mind loves.
Every look is in fact can be a point of temptation, I mean, how often does my eyes wonder on beautiful sights, it’s amazing, clearly an addiction to energy, just like those tempting text messages. This is why breathing is absolutely important, every breath, breath by breath, moment by moment, look by look, everything in fact, I must be here, breathing, otherwise the road to temptation is right here, the evil is always here, showing the way live, which is the reverse of evil. Thinking is a great temptation too; there is always the excitement to think some shit about something. There is energy experience in thinking, that’s why it’s so addictive, it’s like the mind is always texting you. That’s what thinking is, mind asking for energy from the physical body, and we so blindly fall to it.
So time for correction. Time to breathe, time to pause, slow down, look, consider what is best for self and best for all, time to self-move, self-direct, time to say NO to the mind, time to say NO to the fake shyness, fake ego games, time to observe self, self-physical movements, time to observe how I participate in my own bullshit, mentally, emotionally, physical, how I give into fears, doubts, anger, laziness, lethargy, self-pity all that, is kind of temptation, feeding the mind in so many ways, but living here is missing, just a pre-programmed robot, doing its thing.
Every breath, how do I move, am I aware of myself, my surroundings, my presence, my mind, my breath, my emotional states, specially things like fear, do I give into fears. Memories are great temptations, recalling and replaying memories is great fun and great temptation. Thinking all those juicy stuff. Memories are like pictorial text messages, instantly coming up, every moment; some shit is here to excite you. The great temptation. But unfortunately it doesn’t last, just for few fleeting moments, then the boredom of the mind returns with a vengeance. And it’s getting only worse.
Well the couple is rather stable now, talking normally, and I cannot hear anything. Oh I see them smiling, maybe there will be some make-up sex, who knows. That’s another fun side to fighting, there is a hidden reward in the end, maybe that’s why couples love fighting, the anticipation of make-up sex.
Breathe, become self-observant, watch the mind, feel the body, observe the million temptations presented, see how easily the mind/you/I can fall into it. Pictures, photos, memories, text messages, looks, sights, all that is only a picture, for a moment gives a great temptation for the mind. How robotic is life, so breathe, LIVE as a human, not as a ROBOT. Join us: www.desteni.org