Writing to right, writing is righting. Writing is a process of self-correction, and yes it must be lived also. Writing helps in other ways too, to release all that weight in the head, to get them out, and write them out. But for real release, and self-correction, writing of self-forgiveness is a must. Self-forgiveness, self-correction, and self-living the self-correction is freedom. That’s the process of birthing a new self, when correction is on the physical, at least it must be self-evident, meaning the self knows that there is change. So self-honesty is a key, because who knows me better than me. I can trick anyone, including myself, and I will be only fooling myself if all this is done without self-honesty.
I cannot define what self-honesty is. Obviously any form of lying, cheating, allowing fears, basically giving into the mind and its temptation is self-dishonesty. For example, last weekend Wednesday I basically told my manager that I cannot make to the off site visit this week, and I basically gave it up, but after a pep talk with him, I took the challenge and now I am so glad I came down to this site, I really liked it. So here I see elements of self-dishonesty, first, by giving it up, I mean, I have the ability to take this on, but I gave it up, someone else have to do a pep talk for me to take this challenge on. It is dishonest to give up; it is dishonest to hide in fears, to avoid in fears. It is dishonest to listen to the insane voices in my head and give up accordingly. So this is a great lesson/reminder for me, how I overcame a stupid little fear, which I could have done without the pep talk.
So next time, no more pep talks, I will have to stop the voice in my head, and make the decisions to take the challenges head on. I mean, yes, if there are practical variables don’t align to do something, it’s acceptable to say NO, but one has to be really self-honest in that. Saying NO out of fear is self-dishonest; saying NO out of actual practical realistic analysis is acceptable. So the lesson for me is, don’t listen to the voice in the head, rather, look at all available data, information, realistically when making a decision. In this economic climate, messing up with the job is uncool; money is god in climate now. Anyways.
I have to remind myself that writing here is self-writing. Writing myself to freedom, writing my self-forgiveness, writing my self-realizations etc, as Bernard put it, take the ego apart by writing daily, cool advice. I have to remind myself this is self-writing because sometimes I tend to write for others, “here is my message for the world’” sort of writing which is totally against self-writing for self-change. In writing here, I am sharing my process of self-change; this is not about lecturing/preaching to others. I have to be careful on that point. I share this as I understand, and in sharing others may learn/realize some stuff from here, and that’s cool, but this is not a sermon. I see all those pastors and preachers how they preach the hell out of people, and I don’t’ want in anyway whatsoever to be a preacher, but of course sharing directly about myself is what I do here.
Worrying about how the blog will come out is useless. Simply stick to common sense, self-forgiveness, simplicity of sharing, but by all means avoid writing to others, by all means avoid lecturing, “listen to me or else”. This blog is Anton’s journey to life, as I document my process of change for 7 years.
That’s the beautiful thing about desteni, self-change is not isolated from world-change, and so as I write my self-change, I will also write about the shit that’s going on in this world. The religious, spiritual, new age, love-and-light folks do worry about their self-change, but they don’t give a fuck about the world-change, and they have interesting reasons why. I mean its common sense, the world hunger must end, homeless problem must end, unemployment must end, wars must end, poverty must end, hunger must end, raping the earth must end, abuse must end, at desteni we clearly realize those common sense changes, but for the religiously minded, this world is a temporary illusion, so world-change is not their cup of tea, but strangely enough they will strive to have the best life on earth. I wonder why, I mean, if life on earth is so temporary, if this earth is temporary, then, why they bother to have a job, to have a house, why bother to get married, have to children, why not live in a shanty, just pass the days watching the sunset and then die away. Oh no, the religious wont’ do that, they are too busy making a good life for themselves, yet will profusely deny the same goodness to all equally. That’s the profanity of religion. It’s amazing however, only 4-5 years back I was a very religious person, and walking this desteni process changed all that, and now religion is like the most fucked up mentally retarded thing one can do to oneself.
I got rid of god, thanks to walking the desteni process and applying its tools. The god is dead for good. Allah is gone, Buddha is gone, Jesus is gone, Krishna is gone, Shiva is gone, who else, Sai baba is gone, Mohamed is gone, Jehovah is gone, and every fucking Guru and God is gone. I am responsible for myself, and for this world, of course can’t change the world alone, so as a group, as desteni, we will change the world, and more will join us in time.
Self-change is the starting point. Daily writing is a must in that. And writing for self is the key, not to preach, not to be a pastor. But I will speak out for sure. Living here is the key, so no rushing, no stretching to the future or past, be here, write here, breathe here, and speak out here. That’s another aspect of writing, it brings me here, and it grounds me here. Can’t get stuck in an emotional mind energy possessions while writing, because writing is a physical act, I must be here to write.
In addition to this public blog, I commit myself to write privately also everyday, I must write at least 1000 words daily just for my eyes only, to assist me to bring out the real hidden shit from the deep caves of my dark mind.
So writing is righting, reflecting, looking, realizing, determining to change, and of course self-forgiveness and self-correction is a must. This is a 7 year process of daily writing; it’s no joke, a real commitment to self-change. Therefore I see/realize skipping days here and there is not cool, I am only lying to myself. In fact I should double my efforts, by writing daily on public and private blogs as I mentioned before. 1000 words here and 1000 words privately. Get the shit out. It took zillions of words to program me into this fearful being, so it will take time, effort and words to de-program/correct me. It’s a process, which I must walk daily, no skipping.
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