Day 358 – Breath by Breath get things done.

the purpose of lifeBreath by breath application is required, regardless of what I am working on, the movement cannot be rushed. There is no hurrying up, there is hurry up slowly. I have generally noticed in me when I am hit with obstacles the tendency to rush, to give up is quick, so no big deal, just breathe, and get back to fixing one obstacle at a time, I mean in this reality obstacles are bound to appear. There is no point in throwing the towel when hit with obstacles.

The cool thing is when focusing on each step, without rushing, there is some experience of satisfaction and joy having accomplished a task. Every little obstacle then becomes a source of satisfaction because it requires breath by breath application, and in that self is here, not over-there somewhere in the future. So this is cool, I think I am making some progress in taking on obstacles, taking on every little nag on the way to accomplish the project. At work today, I finished something then I realize the degree of satisfaction I had, yet to get there I had to face number of software issues, but each one I just focused and got it done. There is definitely progress in that area, but sometimes yes the old habit to rush, to give up, to surrender comes up.

The days when I accomplish things, I go ‘wow’, I mean, how much more could I achieve if I proceed with this attitude of breath by breath and not rushing but resolving, paying attention to every step etc, without the tiring of the mind. Whereas before I was forced to accomplish things, then there was tiredness afterwards because it was the ‘system that was accomplishing’ without ME breathing here breath by breath.

So yes, this is point I see as bit of progress, I mean, I was the type of guy who will throw the towel at first obstacle, so I have certainly come a long way from that. Even that mind-tiredness is not there anymore, much less I would say. I think daily writing commitment is a big help, it forces you to sit down and do the WORK of writing, that’s kind of training the body to work, daily. That’s why not missing even a day is important. I missed yesterday and I noticed a bit sluggish starting the blog today. So even a single missed day is noticeable, its effect is noticeable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize to achieve things I must move breath-by-breath, getting each step done fully as in breath-by-breath. There is simply no other way, rushing, or hurrying up is of no use.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize each step of the way is equally important, the tendency to skip or rush through steps is invalid, and therefore I commit myself to breathe through each step of the way.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize the rush to get the big picture done is invalid when steps on the way are overlooked. This is common-sense a journey cannot be accomplished without taking each step on the way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience tiredness and fatigue when hit with obstacles and thereby desire to give up the project. In this I forgive me for not seen/realizing the mind as me will throw anything to ‘give up’ and resist. Therefore the only way is through breathing, breath-by-breath.

What does it mean to say breath by breath? I think it has two meanings: 1. Each breath is whole, I mean, you don’t just do half-breaths or quarter breaths, you breathe each breath fully, and then the next breath,  and so on, a series of breaths makes it possible to live, and each breath is equally important, you drop one, you could possibly be a dead man walking. 2. Second meaning is awareness, this is important, we certainly don’t’ breathe each breath with awareness, but if you do, you will realize the benefit of it. So this suggests complete awareness in breathing. In applying breath by breath principle to projects, it means, do each step with AWARENESS.

Each step Fully and with Awareness that is the meaning of breath of breath principle in day to day activities. Every obstacles, every step, every issue, is resolve FULLY with Awareness.

Then what’s the problem? Sometimes we only do a half job, and secondly we do that half job with half awareness, meantime our attention is all over the place. So even those parts that were accomplished, there is a doubt over it: was it done with full attention? Or was it done with lack of attention, meaning carelessly?

Here I can think of a house painting analogy. The so-called painter misses some parts of the house, and the areas he painted seem to have been done with negligence (or with half attention, or maybe he was on the phone with his girl-friend the whole time), so you can see in the walls he was not applying the breath-by-breath principle while painting.

The best way to develop this principle in daily life is to breathe with awareness. Now naturally, we breathe fully of course, but the problem is, we don’t’ breathe with awareness, so that’s something one can practice. Breathe with awareness, which can assist in all other life activities. Especially when you’re hit obstacles.  

So changing the world requires breath by breath application. So much going on, breathe and get things done breath by breath. You see in all that, there is no place for hope, only getting things done actually in physical reality. It’s like planting seeds, now the hope is real, yes now we can hope a plant will grow, as we have done the physical work of planting the seeds. Breathing principle is just like that, get things done, breath by breath, and then the plants may grow. The hope is real here, more like a physical hope. Changing the world requires breath by breath application and many tree planters.

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Day 357 – hay fever

HumanI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am ‘tired, sick and weak’. In this not seen/realizing sickness is simply body adjusting itself to sort of self-heal itself. Therefore judgements as ‘sick’, ‘tired’ and ‘weak’ are not needed, simply support the body with required supplements and any needed medical attention, however the self-judgements are useless in healing the body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘dislike’ the physical conditions I am feeling as a result of summer allergic conditions. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to activate this ‘dislike’, ‘I hate it’ like energies within me as I physically experience cough/sneeze and possibly hay fever as reactions to pollen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to activate ‘dislike’ feelings and energies towards physical symptoms of hay fever during the summer months.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and condition myself as someone who is allergic to pollen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience fear of being alone in my old age while suffering from old age health issues. In this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing imaginations of sickness to run like a wild show in my mind, not seen/realizing the only outcome of that is ENERGY-feed to the mind, while my body depletes consequently.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a sense of fear and abandonment as I am walking through this hay fever like conditions. In this I forgive me for believing that there must be SOMEONE to take care of me while I walk through this condition. In that I forgive me for not seen/realizing I am simply being self-pitiful in allowing and accepting such thoughts/emotions and feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being sick within the belief/thought that ‘what if I was so sick and who will attend to me’. In this I forgive me for not seen/realizing I am here, my body is here, and the hay fever is here, so simply support myself, support my body, and walk through it, there is no need for imagination, what-if thoughts and all sorts of scenarios to work out, because I am here, I am breathing, I am the authority and self-power of myself, of my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to panic even when I get minor health issues, in this I forgive me for not seen/realizing that I have allowed participation in ‘what if’ imaginations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize I am responsible for myself, I am responsible for my body, I am responsible for my life, so there is hay fever, simply take care of it, take care of the body, that’s it, there is no need for imagination, ‘what if’ scenario plays. Here I am breathing. Here I am, body is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘hate’ this hay fever like symptoms and resist it, not seen/realizing what I resist persist. This is what it is at this moment; the physical symptoms are here, so breathe through it and support the body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as ‘weak’, ‘sick’ and ‘tired’ during these days, in this I see/realize I have allowed imagination and therefore self-judgment instead of simply walking through this in actual physical practical self-support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect lack of sleep to hay fever like conditions and therefore believe that I am unable to sleep properly due to these physical symptoms, not seen/realizing it is an association I have mentally created and therefore physically experience. I let go, I breathe, and I remain here.

I direct myself to stop self-pity, instead focus on self-support to practically and physical support myself to ‘heal’.

I stop blaming anyone or anything or even the weather, not see/realizing, there is nobody to blame, it just my physical body reacting to pollen, as climate/air changes during summer months.

I stop looking for SOMEONE to blame, thinking and believing that someone should be here now assisting me, not seen/realizing I am the one I have been waiting for me. It’s time for self-support, self-care, and self-responsibility.

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