What am I going to write tonight? That’s a question sometimes I have to face as I don’t always have a topic handy when I sit to do my daily writing. So reading Mike McDonald’s blog is helpful, he says take the point that you resist the most, if there is such point. So that’s something to consider in picking a point to write about.
I also write a private blog almost daily, I have committed myself to write at least 1000 words a day, it really helps me, for example today I had been possessed by sort of an energy I can name it as ‘sadness’, it had been there nearly all day, however after the private writings that energy state went away. Miracle! I am not suggesting writing as a cure-to-all things, but definitely helps to sort things out, to get a better picture of things. So join us in this Journey to Life , there are many blogs to read as examples and start your own writing process. For me, 1000 words a day is a bench mark, as writing is a resistance point for me, and I tend to cut it short, therefore this bench mark helps. And more importantly, I am writing here for myself, this I have to remind myself very often, as I tend to go into ‘publication mode, preaching’mode’, not cool.
I still don’t’ know what I am going to write about tonight. The good news is this is a process, there is no need for self-judgment, no need for comparison, no need for self-blame, the only need is just WRITE and in that rite yourself to freedom.
What points did I face today? Point of listening came up, I had a chance to listen to someone attentively today. Listening is very important and it’s a chance for self-stability. I have to breathe and remain here to listen to what another is saying, without me interrupting them with my own ‘wisdom’. Let them speak first. And listening with the attitude of ‘I know it all’ doesn’t help. I have to listen sincerely to what is being said, not with any attitude of ‘oh I know it all’, rather just listen exactly to what is being said. In that I have to make sure no judgments, no preconceived ideas, no assumptions. Just listen as if you’re listening for this human for the first time for this amazing story this being has to tell you, not even an iota of judgment about what is being said.
So while I was listening to this being today, I recall having some backchats like this:
“Oh you’re another crazy person just like the person you’re talking about”. “Are you some kind of a loser talking to strangers”? “Why the fuck are you telling this shit to me?” “I see you’re just a nothing to do bum rambling your shit to a stranger”.
Backchat similar to that was running through me as I was listening to this person at a café telling me their stuff. There was no real communication at first, I mean the person is talking and I am everywhere in my judgment and backchat, whereas at some point I cool down, breathed and just stayed here without judgment, and in that I was able to ACTUALLY hear/listen to this person. I mean they are not as stupid as I had judged them to be. The person was bit nervous at first too, and as I relaxed I could see the person became more comfortable in expressing themselves also. This was a good lesson for me; it is my own judgment about others that contributes to their nervousness. So as I relax, they will relax also. Equal and One.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge another as I listen to them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain backchat as I listen to another, instead of being here completely.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain loads of thoughts, backchats and judgments as I listen to another, in that not seen/realizing there is no communication at all, how could I listen to my inner voice and to the voice of another at the same time? In this I see/realize the solution is to drop all judgment and breathe as I listen to another.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize nobody is stupid or dumb or idiotic or crazy as I judge them to be, I see/realize regardless of ‘who they are’ I just have to listen to them in and as breathing/breath here, just listen to them with total openness. Because even an iota of judgment/thought/backchat/inner-talk can block communication/listening to another.
I direct myself to use listening as a great point of self-stability to support myself to bring myself back here. When and as I communicate with ANYONE, I stop and I breathe, and I bring myself here, my entire self HERE, so that I can LISTEN without entertaining even an iota of judgment/thought about the other being.
This is also ‘giving as I would like to receive’, I mean, I like it when others listen to me unconditionally, wouldn’t you?
I read somewhere along the line of: “it is in the small things who you are is shown”, it makes so much sense, today when I was listening to that ‘stranger’ it was in all accounts was a small thing, insignificant thing, but it was a chance for me to ground myself HERE, so I am grateful for that being, that stranger, that crazy, weirdo, nut-case Being from nowhere started to chit-chat with me at the café.
This process is very self-visible/self-evident in small things. To borrow a line from author Arundhati Roy, be a GOD of small of things, and do so by listening without any backchat.
That’s it for tonight as I am nearing 1000 words, join us. One point also, don’t let the word count be a self-limiting goal, rather a soft bench mark to overcome resistance to writing. Again, be a god of small things, self-writing is another way to be that.