Day 351 – Fear of blogging is an old paranoia, writing is the cure.

write‘Fear of what others might think of me’ is something I still entertain as I sit to write my blogs. What the readers might think of my writing? I mean, they might think I am crazy or stupid or something for writing out my shit here. I even entertain the fear of what other destonians might think of my writing, they might think, ‘Anton is still stuck in basic things’. So yes, what others might think of my writing is a constant companion as I sit to self-write everyday. So what’s the solution?

I recall listening to one of Bernard’s videos about this very same point, “what others might think of my blogging/vlogging”. He says basically it’s EGO nothing else. And nobody thinks anything about your blogging/vlogging; it’s your own fucking EGO trying to jeopardize you.

Alternatively, I could give-in to that voice, that concern of what others might think and actually not write a single word. Complete silence, complete isolation, just inside my mind, nothing written, nothing expressed, I mean how depressing is that, but ego will love it. So no excuse, WRITING is the way, EVEN if some find this writing WTF?, let it be so, I will continue to write daily, I will not let myself be STOPPED by concerns of my EGO: what if others find my writing a piece of crap? Well crap is everywhere, everyone craps every day, so nobody is a stranger to crap, and as Bernard said NOBODY is judging my writing, it’s my own judgment, my own self-limiting voice that’s looking to jeopardize this. Funny, even after 300+ days, I still get that voice “what if others find my writings a piece of S**t ”. WTF.

Again, I have to remind myself this is SELF-Writing, I am writing to correct myself, I am writing as self-support to myself, I am not writing stuff to impress the minds of anyone, of course, they can use this to clear their own crappy minds, nothing personal, I am walking this Journey to Life to get rid of my own crap, again, nothing personal.

What we have accepted and allowed within ourselves is absolute shit, I mean think about something like ‘fear to write’, what a limiting way to live life. Time to walk no matter what. Giving up is not an option, walk through the resistance, walk through the fears. I have to laugh at myself when I entertain the thought “what if others find my writing is full of stuff, or piece of shit”, WTF. That’s goes to show the degree of self-judgment, it has nothing to do with what others think, and it has everything to do with what I THINK.

So here I am, writing no matter what.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear blogging within the idea that others might find my writing a piece of crap.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear blogging within the idea that others might think that I am full of shit in my writings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear blogging within the idea that others might think that I am still at a basic level in my process, still struggling with basic things.

In this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that others might think that I am still stuck and not making any progress in my process, not seen/realizing that there is no judge to my process, I am my own judge, I am my own approver, there is no other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear blogging within the idea that others might think that I am not making any progress still stuck at basic level, not seen/realizing every breath is anew, afresh life, a moment to walk, a moment to live, no past, no judgment, no want, no need, no seeking of approval, no seeking of validation, no seeking energy, JUST here, just breathing this moment.

So I let go of the fear of blogging, fear of writing, fear of what others might think of my writing, and I direct myself to breathe and write myself to freedom.

I mean, WTF, fear of what others might think of writing really sucks, should I give into that, I could totally jeopardize my process, so no more; I direct myself to in commonsense look at my daily points and write myself to freedom.

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