Day 366 – The inner movie screen

self-forgivenessI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that I actually believe in lack, therefore I create the lack. All these thoughts about lack get projected onto the inner movie screen, now as I watch them, I ‘become’ them, I become the lack that is projected as the thoughts, therefore I experience and I effectively become lack, I can even say: ‘I am lack’.

All that is because I allowed the thoughts on the movie screen to define me, I allowed myself to ‘be it’, instead of just watching the movie-screen and breathe it out, I allowed myself to get-glued to these thoughts, and believe them to be ME. just like watching a real movie in cinema, where I become the scene for a moment, as if I am there, in the movie, in the scene, in that role, experience as if it is happening to ME, viola, that is exactly what is happening when I latch onto the projected thoughts within my inner movie screen.

Therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize the lack is not real, the projected thoughts about ‘lack’ is not real, however what is real is me latching myself onto the screen and making the unreal real! How fucked up is that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize every thought that automatically appears on the inner movie screen is not real, yet if I latch onto it, then, I experience those thoughts as REAL, hence I experience the emotions/feelings related to those thoughts as REAL. A classic case of where the unreal, the projection on the screen becomes REAL. I see/realize this is my responsibility to NOT make the UNREAL REAL; therefore I support myself with breathing with awareness and being aware that ‘thoughts are just that, a projection, an image on the inner movie screen’.

Now there are questions who does this projection, why there is a projection etc., for more details investigate, my short answer however is, I have created and hold onto enough memories within me, and from that thoughts are springing out, there is no EVIL force within me throwing thoughts out, like some religious folks believe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that until I STOP participation in the imaginary/projected thoughts on my inner movie screen, I am not a living human, and I am more like a pre-programmed robot. Therefore I see/realize it is of great responsibility to STOP participation in the inner movie.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize I have become ADDICTED to the inner projection, and its associated emotions and feelings. Strange, I have become addicted to a GHOST in the inner movie screen, because this inner screen GHOST apparently can create something called “emotions and feelings”, now unfortunately these “emotions and feelings” are not unreal, they are churned out of my human physical body, causing great harm and depletion to the body. And those “emotions and feelings” feel so good. That’s the ADDICTION. I am addicted to those CHARGES. And because I am addicted to those feelings/emotions, I keep returning again and again to participate in the inner movie show, because its great entertainment, it FEELS good. Like watching porn again and again to get that high, which feels really good. Same thing with participation in the mind, it’s ADDICTIVE, because it FEELS good.

So when and as I see myself latching myself onto the inner movie screen’s projected images (thoughts), I STOP, I breathe, and I pause to remind myself that this is a momentary show running in the inner movie screen, therefore it’s UNREAL, so I direct myself to breathe and be here, as a physical being, like a living TREE.

Time to stop the inner movie screen’s show. This blog tonight was inspired by heaven’s journey to life, which recently spoke on the subject of ‘inner movie screen’ which I found very supportive.

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