I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize this process is walked in small things first. Meaning it is in the small things, tinny things, momentary things, normal and casual things, this process is walked. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize wanting to take on ‘big’ things is just ego, it’s an attempt to look big, a desire of the ego. Whereas small things is where my presence, my attention is needed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize ‘stopping blame’ is a big thing to take on, if I am so desiring for big things, ‘stopping blame’ is a cool point to take on, as I see/realize there is still blame going on. I am subtly blaming others for my apparent ‘life situation’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize by blaming others I am totally and completely giving up my self-power, my self-force. As I become powerless, forces-less when and as I blame others for this and that. Sure people have done some nasty things, but I allowed them to sit inside my mind and chew my head all day, as they didn’t magically enter my head, I put them there, therefore I see/realize the noise I hear inside my head is self-created, therefore it is my responsibility to STOP it, and STOP the blame.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize wasting my so-called ‘free time’ is wasting my life. Because time is precious, life is precious, life is short, one life to live, so why bother wasting it in doing bullshit stuff, instead I direct myself to use my time effectively, to walk this process, to learn the tools, to read the blogs, to write blogs, to participate in this process, etc, wasting my ‘free time’ is not acceptable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize commitment statements are to be LIVED; they are not just meaningless noise. So I see/realize when I make/speak commitment statements they are to be LIVED in the physical reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize I am my own power, I am my own force, there is no other force that can direct me, I am the only force that can direct me, unless I chose not to. In this I see/realize the creative power, the power of creation I have within my words and within my ability to decide and to LIVE those decisions. I have the power to LIVE my life, instead of just flowing with the winds of the mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize living inside the emotional/mind/desire space is just MIND-living not Physical-living. When I am stuck in the mind, in the past, in the desires, I am not here, I am GONE somewhere living in the mind.
I see/realize breathing with awareness is the key. Being in the physical here is the key, paying attention to the details here is the key. Because I see/realize that my surroundings are a reflection of me, meaning, I cannot run or hide from what is here. And it’s a great point of support for myself, the people, the animals, the plants, the ‘strangers’, the nature, job, love, romance, family, all that stuff are points of support for me. Because at the end of the day, the MIND must be stopped, NOTHING Must move in the mind, I must return to DARKNESS by STOPPING ALL that is mind. True this is a process, but I must work for it, work at it, every day, I must take on the points as they come, and see how I face them. I mean, the more I hide, the more I run, the more I procrastinate my process, and there is a deadline, as the line of death is fast approaching.
I mean, it’s a great thing that I am walking this process, so might as well walk with utter most dedication, face the points, deal with them, overcome the points instead of running away, after all, my life is my process.
Self-awareness is the key, become self-aware in every moment of breath, so no more robotic automatic living. Instead LIVE here as LIFE breath by breath. This is a hard work, this is a process that must be lived every day, applied every day, requires daily dedication, daily action, participation, and STOPPING the mind, because if I allow myself to get lost in the mind, then, I am walking backwards in my process, like 2 steps back and 1 step forward, not cool. Yet it’s a simple process, THIS moment, THIS breath, breathe, become aware of myself, and then stop what I have accepted and allowed.
Then what’s the problem? The problem is lack of self-awareness, addiction, energy addiction, etc., so walk/work with what is here. Breathe. Do the physical, enjoy the life, but make sure that everyone else can enjoy their lives too. Death is fast approaching, so pay attention to small things, walk the process in small things. I have things piling up in my mind for personal/private blogging, i need to direct them, write them out, forgive myself for it and let it go, but I have to WRITE first, I can sense some things are piling up, which i have ignored for a while. Time to pay attention to details, the inner private details instead of hiding, or pretending them to be not here, just because I ignore doesn’t mean those stuff go away, in fact the more I ignore the more they bother me, they linger around. So its time to direct myself to do some private writing to address those issues. cool.
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