Slow down Anton. Breathe. B r e a t h e. Be Here. Mind is racing for old addictions; that’s the thing with addictions, there is no end to it, until I STOP them or they will STOP me.
So I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize, the racing mind is looking for old addictions and that’s a dangerous thing, so before I create any consequences for myself and others, I STOP. I am directing myself to stop and breathe. I mean really, for a momentary thrill, it’s not worth it. I see/realize my breathing is more than enough; I do not need old addictions to dictate me. I also see/realize the more I give-in to addictions, the more I train my body to submit to it, therefore the way forward is to re-program the body by NOT participating in them.
I breathe, breath is my anchor. I feel a sense of shame that I am submitting to addiction again and again, time to STOP. Time to stop mind-possessions, time to consider that I am responsible for EVERYTHING that I allow within myself, there is absolutely no excuse. I am totally responsible for what I feel, what I experience, my modes, what my mind is chewing about, I am totally responsible, in this I see/realize I cannot blame anyone for anything. So anger, rage, tendency to blame again and again must be STOPPED. Here I have to see that I have been the problem-source, but conveniently placed it on others all this time, not cool, now I see others are ONLY showing me what I have done to myself, how I have disregard, disrespected me, so the solution is simple: I take responsible for my MIND, I STOP all emotional waves, blames, angers, rage, lust, all those addictions, because clearly it’s time I take responsibility for my MIND and STOP the bullshit I have been allowing.
I mean how much is too much? I think I have reached the too-much-ness in many things. Time to breathe, and STOP. Nothing serious, just breathe, and STOP the ancient patterns of the mind. The addictions cannot lead me. I mean, I have to be an example for others, how will I be, if I still take part in addictions? Simple common sense. So I breathe and I stop it, no more.
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