Day 407 – Honor Life, stop thinking.

the purpose of life“You’re going to have to participate in everything, because you cannot direct anything that is separate from you. You have to take responsibility for everything that is here: The Money-System, the Political-System, the War-System, and the Education-System. You have to stand up within it, as it, direct it. Make sure that the starting-point of it becomes Life-Awareness; Not self-awareness, not programmed-reality – but actuality of Life in Expression.” – Bernard Poolman

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to others in terms of having ‘thoughts’ about them. “What they must be thinking about me” like thoughts, in this I see/realize I am giving up my self-power to others, in that invalidating us as equals. Because the moment I see myself as less-than, or more-than, I am not standing/living the equality principle.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize having thoughts about others is a form of judgment. And judgment invalidates the equality among us, therefore I see/realize to stand as equals, all judgment must be stopped. When and as I see myself having ‘thoughts’ about others, in terms of fearing, or in terms of judging them, or in terms of ‘what they must be thinking of me’ like thoughts, I stop, I breathe. Because I see/realize we are equals, regardless who it is, we are equals; as the life-force within us all is equal and ONE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and have ‘thoughts’ about others. In this I see/realize ‘thinking about others’ is a great self-harm, and harm to others too, because it’s all judgment based, not practical actual physical-living based thinking. When and as I see myself ‘thinking’ shit that has nothing to do with practical physical reality, I stop, and I breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think ‘worrisome thoughts’, in this I see/realize I have allowed myself to ride the wave of fear within my mind, instead of practically writing things down to make decisions. When and as I see myself ‘worrying’ I stop, I breathe, and I direct myself to write things down to investigate the issues, so that I can ‘see’ what’s going on, for real, instead of just riding the mind-emotions of worry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize I am equal and one as life, as all that is here, so any form of worrying, thinking, judgment is making me less-than or more-than life, instead of ‘thinking practical, physical’ stuff for effective living, not just getting caught in the mind-emotional-thinking.

The fact that I am equal and one as life means, I must honor myself as life, and honor others as life. It means I must stop all thoughts about me or others, as thoughts are judgments, hence less-than, or more-than life therefore not equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize ‘lack of breath-awareness’ is a root reason for my insatiable thinking where the mind is running endlessly looking for energy to feed itself by extracting the physical-body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize ‘thinking’ is a basic point that I must stop to walk this process. ‘Thinking’ is not a luxury, it’s a disease. The first sign of ‘progress’ is this process, if I may call that, is STOPPING the insanity of thinking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize ‘thinking’ is a sign of robotic existence, living like a zombie robot. When and as I see myself ‘thinking’, I stop, I breathe.

Anyways, moving through the resistance to write today, as its being a Friday I allowed myself to ‘think’ “oh well, too tired to write, must take it easy tonight” shit like that, not seen/realizing, all it take is to ‘just write’, and write you can, because there is always something to write about. The point about ‘thinking’ is something I can write for days, as I have not ‘stopped’ my thinking yet, still that auto-machine is running wild/vile. So I direct myself to slow down, breathe, and write daily, as I see that writing is the way to rite myself, so I write and write and write. I direct myself to speak self-forgiveness out aloud. Why waste even a minute in thinking, use that time to speak out self-forgiveness, a moment for releasing the accumulated shit in the mind and to self-realize. In that letting go off the mind and growing in life-awareness.

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Day 406 – Honor Life, stop reacting.

water“That Love is a Realization of yourself. It’s an Acceptance. It’s an Embracing of yourself in every single breath and every point of your existence; whether you are in the physical, whether you are a dog, whether you are a horse, whether you are stone, whether you are the bed we sit on, whether you are an ‘angel’, whether you are in Heaven – doesn’t matter where you are:

That is why at Desteni we say: Self-Forgiveness, to forgive yourself that you have dared to deny Life. In every way that you have done that – you have to Forgive Yourself. Because only you can do that, because you know where you do it in thought, word and deed. You know where you are denying another, Life, equally to you; where you are judging another, blaming another, where you regard yourself as more or less.” – Bernard Poolman

Reacting to comments. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger when others make ‘comments’ to me, not seen/realizing what others say only reflect their mind, so reacting to them is pointless, waste of my breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger when I saw some comments I interpret as nasty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger, and desire to hit them back with nastiness because I believe that I am wronged by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others as mean and nasty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize each is LIFE, hence my anger, my judgment towards another is putting LIFE down, in that making me more. So reacting, judging another is not the way, rather, forgive myself and let go of the reactions, and speak to the being in commonsense, in a stable voice/tone without a ‘reaction’. Because I see/realize reactions never bring solution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize each is LIFE, so reacting, blaming, judging, getting angry at another, etc, are saying I am MORE than you, hence, I am MORE than LIFE. This is not acceptable I am NOT more than LIFE, I am not MORE than you, I am not LESS than you, and I am equal to you. I honor this equality by realizing that equality, and not judging, not blaming, not seeking attention, not reacting etc. it’s like water, at the same height/pressure there is no movement, as the parts stand in equal to each other. Likewise, if I stand equal another, there is no movement (in the form of judgment, or seeking attention, or wanting to be noticed, reacting, getting angry, liking, disliking etc), as all that is a movement I experience towards another. That’s why breathing is the key, because in and as breathing, I cut the down ‘movement’ towards another, and in that I stand like tree in equality to another, yet can communicate, agree, even disagree, construct, build, make love, unite, do things together, as all that practical stuff is happening without ‘movement’ as such.

Walking into a room full of people, the tendency to seek attention depends on who is in the room, if there are persons whose attention I seek/like then, yes entering a room is fun, and if no such person is there, then it is boring, that’s why as I enter a room, I will “scan” to see whose attention I must get/seek/like/want, etc. this way of living sucks totally.

I forgive myself for judging ‘attention seeking’ as sucks, not seen/realizing in judging myself or another, or any situation, I am in fact putting something/someone down, making it less than life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize, judging another is putting them down, making them less than life. Instead I seek to understand their history, background, mind-conditioning, etc, what makes the being who he/she is, for him/her to speak like that, in understanding them I let go of my actions to them. Otherwise, I react to their words, and they in turn react to my action, hence the cycle of spiteful reaction continues, just like how the sins of the fathers continue from one age to another, so if I don’t stop reacting, the vicious cycle of reacting, judging, spite will continue. It must stop within me. 

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