Day 393 – Thanks to Bernard Poolman, I am standing.

bernardpoolman1Still kind of confused about the idea that Bernard Poolman is no more. He was very much HERE, so how can he be no more? I remember back in the farm when driving with Bernard in the car to town, there is a certain calm presence about him, which allowed me to be totally at ease and comfortable. This is not a personality thing rather Bernard was life, simply a manifestation of life without that busy mind like the rest of us. This is why I think listening to Bernard’s interviews is fascinating because you’re transported to HERE.

I always found it fascinating to listen to Bernard’s interviews, his voice, tonality is rather strange, and it brings you HERE. Listening to Bernard is like listening to Life, to source. I don’t want to exalt Bernard as a personality, don’t’ want to turn him into a guru, because he is not, he is simply a man who walked a process to stop his mind and re-birthed himself as LIFE. Simple. That’s the simplicity of Bernard Poolman and his commonsense.

Bernard is here. That’s a very loaded statement, I mean, what does it mean to say ‘Bernard is here’? It means he represent the life that exists here/there/everywhere. Life is everywhere, and that life is what Bernard represents as way of living and as a principle, not due to any magic or miracle, simply due to re-birthing himself as life. He was once an individual, a person just like you and me, then became life; of course still have to have a name, a phone number, an email address etc, but he was not a ‘person’ as such, he has become the whole. The name Bernard is just a reference, a tag to a walking/talking whole/life/physical being. 

The physical, the flesh/self is life. But for the normal humans like me, the mind is the life, it is the power, whereas physical is just a thing to use and abuse. But for Bernard physical was the master, not the mind, in fact, mind is just a tool assisting to live practically dealing with practical stuff. In our case, the mind is the master, for Bernard, he is equal and one with the physical, the life.

Today listening to some of Bernard’s videos I have the same sense of nearness to HERE through his words, tonality and voice. Bernard’s voice is amazing, I recall asking him about his strange voice, but I don’t’ remember his answer.

I am very fortunate to have met Bernard and spend some time with him in the farm. I was visiting the farm for 1 month back in 2010, got to really hear him, ask him questions, enjoy some laughter etc. One thing folks may not realize is that Bernard is a very funny guy, his sense of humor is very cool, and I remember having loads of laughter about his comments. It’s not that he was joking; it’s the way he presented commonsense sometimes came across as very funny.

I recall a new term he mentioned, “Swami SexAnanda” in relation to all the sex scandals we hear from spiritual groups, I found that name hilariously funny. ‘Swami SexAnanda’, yeh we have lots of those nowadays. 

Sad to realize that Bernard died so young, so early in the process; I am missing Bernard, his words, blogs, funny comments, commonsense, tough questions, and all that real stuff. But Bernard is here, he was always here, that’s why I love listening to his videos, he is here, which allowed me to be here. Yeh now I see that’s the reason why I loved listening to anything and everything Bernard spoke about, his voice, tonality, words, the sounding, the delivery, all that assisted me to come home, to come HERE. Even now when I listen, I am here, in the company of Bernard, in the company of life, in fact, I am with myself.

Aah!! So that’s why Bernard is loved so much, because we could at last be with ourselves via Bernard and his words. Being with him is like being with my own real-self. its unquestionable when I listen to his words today, it is like as always, I am taken to HERE, I am with myself, though it seems I am liking the company of Bernard through his words, but actually I am liking myself through Bernard. I am discovering self-intimacy through listening to Bernard’s voice/words. That is the gift Bernard gave me, the gift of myself to me. And so I must not squander the gift of myself, I must stand and walk until this is done.

Gratefulness for Bernard for helping me find myself; thanks for your cool commonsense, your tough questions, and for everything you stood for, thanks for showing us how to live like life. Now it is my turn, our turn to stand up absolutely.

Here I want to mention that Bernard walked very intimately with some beings including his two children, for them the loss of Bernard is a very personal loss, loss of a father, loss of a partner, loss of a friend, etc, so through this difficult days and beyond, we all stand together, his family, his friends, destonians from all over the world, we all stand together, we will walk together, because we are all touched by life, by Bernard.  

Thanks, see you around. Join us

me.jpgI am Anton Fernando, please friend me on facebook. Here I am at the desteni farm with Timeless back in June of 2010, that’s when I first met Bernard, wow, how fortunate I am. I wish I had captured every word Bernard said to me, so many little jewels, but cannot recall many. Bernard record this interview about ‘Success cost Indians (in South Africa) their health‘, rather funny one but loaded with commonsense.

Of course, there were lots of kitchen/hall discussions, I mean just sitting around listening to Bernard going on and on about most fascinating stuff, one can never get bored with Bernard around, though I must admit I couldn’t take in all the stuff he was saying, somethings just went over my head.

I remember when I came to the farm I was not into facebook that much, i had my account open but it was hardly active, just a dozen or so friends, seen that, Bernard logged in as me, and the next thing i know, I had loads of destonians becoming my facebook friends. Facebook was not my thing then, now i live in facebook with over 2000 friends and growing. Bernard also assisted with my Indiadesteni youtube account. I like how Bernard pronounce the word “Indians” like in “Indiaaaaaans”, you can hear that in the interview above.

Last time I saw him was when he dropped me and Kristina off at the Durban International airport, we exchanged hugs, I didn’t realize it would be my last time to hang out with Bernard.

But there is lot more than just hanging out with Bernard, this is about life, about life on earth, about this planet, as everything on earth is now at risk, because man’s greed and the current rate of fuckedupness is destroying life on earth. Bernard stood for a solution, he stood for a world that is best for all always in all ways, and now it is our task, our mission to stand up and re-birth ourselves and birth a new world that is best for all.

And I realize, every time I listen to Bernard’s words, voice, or read his blogs, we are Here together. After all, how can life die? only his physical body has returned to dust from dust, but he as life, lives on.

My one regret is that I burden Bernard with so many of my petty little problems, always seeking for answers and attention, but did I ever support him? was I there as a point of support for Bernard? Now is the time to stop whining and take self-responsibility for myself and for the group. Now is the time to stand in support for life, in support for myself and for all. Strange, only after Bernard’s death I realize this.

Anyways, thanks, see you around Bernard.







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