Day 399 – Dedicate every breath to rebirth Self as Life. Don’t waste time.

self-forgivenessI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am too tired today to write this blog.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give excuses instead of pushing myself through the resistance to write out daily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize ‘not feel like it’ is an excuse, which invalidates my self-power, my self-will, my decision to act/write/move myself through the mind-resistances.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize listening to music can easily transport me into another mind-dimension filled with emotions, feelings and past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get lost in music instead of doing the hard work of being HERE in and as breath. Because I see/realize getting lost in music is a very cool way to avoid the reality of here, my breath, my body, my process, my world and everything in it, instead me hiding behind music.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide behind music.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste time on music.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid reading, and writing because I am swimming in the mind ocean of music.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize addiction to music is a great sign of not living here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize to walk this process, to birth myself as life, I must self-discipline myself, I must commit myself to stop the addictions, like the addiction to listen to music.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that listening to music gives me a great relaxing mood, not seen/realizing what I am really enjoying is the emotional stuff that goes with music, in this I see/realize I am NOT here, I am not effectively breathing in and as the physical.

I once asked Bernard at the farm, why he is not wearing a headphone and listening to music while he is at the computer, then the reply was: just breathing, in-and-out (gesturing) is the music. Meaning awareness of the incoming/outgoing breath is the music that I must listen to, not the emotional twisters of the good old Indian melodic music.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize I must walk this process, with complete dedication and hard work, so that I can birth myself as life. Then every breath is most effectively lived, not giving into the mind and its desires. Music to a large extent is a mind addiction. Of course if I am playing an instrument then it’s a physical self-expression, but just listening is not physical mostly for mind.

There is so much going on in this world, for that I must dedicate my time to read, write, and understand what’s going on. Just listening to music is not acceptable, of course, I can do that while driving or on short breaks, but it must not take much time, I mean, look around in this world, so much abuse is going on, therefore time wasting is not acceptable, time must be used to read, write, understand and share this message of equality and oneness with the rest, Bernard didn’t live and die for nothing, his teachings, message, techniques, tools, must be lived and shared with others. For that time management is a key.

When and as I see myself going bit too far into listening to music, I stop, I breathe, I move myself, get out of the computer and go out for a walk, because I see/realize the addiction to good old music is a waste of time and physical energy as I am consumed by the emotions the music produce, therefore I direct myself to breathe, slowdown and dedicate that time to process activities instead of wasting in music.

There are so many Journey to life blogs to be read, to be understood, and there is much to write about, so in this I see/realize getting lost in music is not acceptable.

I direct myself to speak self-forgiveness, to go out for a walk, when and as I see myself consuming myself in music.

Yes walking this process is hard work, laborious, time-consuming, in realizing that, I dedicate myself to walk this process, to do the hard work. I don’t have to stress out myself on this, just a matter of walking it breath by breath. What is that I am allowing in this breath? What is that I am accepting in this breath? Am I living this breath in the physical? or Am I lost in the mind? Am I lost in the desires, fantasies, fears, worries, anxieties, paranoias, etc, or Am I breathing. Am I in the physical. The bottom-line is Am I developing self-awareness of myself and my reality here, in this moment? Join us: www.desteni.org

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