Day 402 – Living through the past is a waste.

voice“Everything is a System and everything is part of a system – nature is a system, breathing is a system, thinking is a system, your body is a system. The Universe is a system. Best to Understand the laws that regulate it and to ensure that one does not abuse – within this, you only have the moment of your breath where you touch reality, and then it’s gone and the next breath appears. If you look back, you’ll Notice – that the past is really gone and you can never have it back. So, living partly through the Mind – is such a waste of limited time.” – Bernard Poolman

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize there is in fact limited time to live, therefore wasting that time in the mind is a total waste.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize living through the mind, living through the past is a waste, as the reality is only here, where I can touch the reality of this moment, and that ‘this’ moment is only here, now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘think’ about the past and regret the past, not seen/realizing that I am only wasting my limited time by living through mind/past by recalling/thinking about the past, in that I forgive me for totally missing the touchable reality of this moment of breath here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize this moment of reality is available to me through the awareness of this breath I am breathing.

I forgive myself for not seen/realizing that not breathing with awareness is the main reason to disconnect me from the physical here, because breath is physical and it is available to me here, now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste my limited time in the mind by thinking about the past and thinking about future as in imagination.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize living through the mind by thinking about the past will make me a zombie who is ineffective, dull and sort of dead, because I am not here. I am gone. In this I forgive myself for not being here, in and as breath, breathing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live life as if I am dead, by thinking and living through the mind/past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live through the past, by recalling the past, by regretting the past, by desiring to re-live the past, not seen/realizing I am turning myself into a dead-man-walking because I am not here as a living/breathing being, because I am lost in the mind of the past.

Interpersonal:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bring up the past whenever I am with others, in this I forgive myself for bringing up the past with the sole intention of reminding others about their shit. “you know how bad you were in the past, you know how nasty you were in the past”, in this I see/realize reminding people about their past, and bringing up their past in conversations is not supportive, true it is their shit for them to deal with, but me carrying their shit in my head is not effective.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remind others how evil they are and how evil they have been in the past, sort of trying to lock them down again and again into their past evilness. In this I see/realize it is not that I should pretend like all is cool and beautiful from the past, no, it just constantly bring up the past shit keeps a person stuck in their shit. It is their timeline and they must walk it, therefore I see/realize carrying their shit in my mind as a reminder of their evilness is not effective. Obviously if a conversation requires that I bring them up, I do so as a point of support, so that the being can actually learn/correct from it, not feel further tortured by my words. Trying to break them down with their past shit is uncool, but if bringing up the past to assist them, then, it’s cool. This is a self-honest point, and if I am walking moment by moment then, why bring up the past, again and again?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others based on their past behaviors, and continue to condemn others as evil, and in that I forgive me for avoiding people believing them as evil for their past wrongdoings or mistakes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to carry the past of other people in my mind as a reminder of their past evil deeds, so that I will be always armed against others, in this I forgive myself for not breathing here in and as physical, and allowing others to breathe the same, without me imposing that past onto them by reminding them of their past evil doings.

Well, we cannot ignore the past, cannot ignore the past wrongdoings, we must self-forgive and learn from them to correct ourselves, but simply bring up the past to demonize others is just as evil. So when and as I see myself demonizing others based on their past mistakes, I stop, I breathe.

Universal:

As ethnic groups, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto past wrongdoings so that I can continue warring against them to this day as it has been going on for centuries.

As nations, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto grudges against other nations, the things that happened centuries ago, so that we can always be armed and ready for war.

As nations, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto the past evil doings of other nations, so that I can always be prepared and ready to attack them, and to remind them how evil they were in the past, perhaps 100’s if not 1000’s of years ago.

As nations, as ethnics, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for carry on grievances from the past, sometimes things happened over 1000’s of years ago, but still holding onto them, in readiness for future wars.

As nations, as ethnics, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never let go of the past, in this I see/realize how I am perpetuating the past by holding onto them, never allowing a moment of forgiveness and letting go.

As nations, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to recall and remember the past evil doings of other groups so that I can continue to hate them, continue to self-victimize myself based on the past shit of others. In this I see/realize how insane it is to live through past in the mind.

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