Day 410 – “I will never do it again”. Don’t waste life with those Famous Last Words.

Addicted to FEELINGS.Famous last words. I will never do it again. I will never drink again. I will never lie again. I will never cheat again. I will never react in anger again. I will never do XYZ again, till the next moment of energy addictive crave arises within like a storm. Then, all hell break loose.  This is a point I have faced and facing. No more wishy-washy standings, its time to really grab the bull (mind’s energy ) by the horn, no more accepting and allowing myself to give into addictions very similar to that song ‘just one more night, just one more night’.  In that lies the famous last words, I will never do it again, just this one time.

So what’s the solution. The solution is to decide each moment, whether I will stand for what is best for all, whether I will accept and allow abuse, whether I will stand as a point/being who can be trusted or not, no matter what.

These are very difficult times, lot more stranger moments will be thrown at you, for you to stand no matter what. The easy way of course is to run, run from yourself, but sooner or later you will face yourself.

So solution is living breath by breath. This breath here, and next the breath here and so on.  Not allowing, not accepting the MIND to run its propaganda. Mind is a propaganda machine, once you listened to it, pretty very hard to overcome its voice very similar to TV news. So the key is breathing, attending to the physical and NOT participating in the mental voice.  Otherwise, old patterns, old addictions, will run you down on that rare single unbearable moment of crave, only to regret later so profusely  “I will never do it again”. Remember those are the famous last words.

So here I am. I commit myself to breathe, and realizing I must walk this life one breath at a time, breath by breath so to overcome the addictions of the mind. There is simply no other way.  Or else, I will just waste my life in giving excuses time after time and then vanish away at death, like a fly on the windscreen. I do not want to squander my life. I want to live and become a human who can be trusted no matter what. I remember Bernard once responded to my statement saying/asking “Famous last words?” Meaning you will inevitably repeat again and again, therefore I am very familiar with making statements that sounds like famous last words devoid of any practical commitment to live the words I speak/write. Its about time now to LIVE.

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