Day 445: Pause at In-Breath to stop/break the MIND-MOVIE

breathing. take a deep breath. place a pause at in-breath. I am directing myself to breathe with awareness, as I see this is a MUST do thing, I mean, I cannot continue to ignore my breath. There are lot changes I need to do to my life, I mean so many little adjustments, changes, for better, as I see they are pilling up. But first thing first, I must breathe with awareness. I must place that pause at the in-breath. It doesn’t take too long just for a sec or two, in that way I can pause the mind from constantly running wild. I am missing my life here, I am missing living here, because I am STUCK in the MIND, constantly THINKING, THINKING some shit, even if I am not actively self-directively THINKING, there is always some kind of shit thinking, like background music going on in my mind. So this in-breath pause will pause the MIND-movie. Like applying breaks on a car to reduce speed.

I direct myself to see/realize that ignoring my breath is not an option, its not living, its just automatic living. NO awareness whatsoever.

I direct myself to pause at in-breath. I commit myself to SEE/realize that Pausing is to Pause the MIND-movie.

I commit myself to breathe as often as I can with that in-breath pause. in that stopping the MIND even from background noise.

I mean otherwise what’s the consequences, constantly running music, songs, stories, fears, angers, all that endlessly speeding away. The in-breath pause breaks that racing car, that momentum, at least for a moment.

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Day 444 – This breath is a chance to be LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize birthing self as life is a process, a long process, which must be walked with dedication and application. There are no short cuts to this path.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize every breath is a chance to LIVE this process, to actually birth myself breath by breath, NOT needing a distant deadline to birth myself, here now, this breath is my point of transcendence.  Not seen/realizing if I cannot LIVE this breath as LIFE, then the chances of making it later is less, because the real chance of making it is HERE NOW.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize HERE is my chance, this breath is my chance, I am here, breathing. Every breath is my chance to birth myself, the tools are here, the process is here, the breath is here, the moment is here, so what am I waiting for, for a future? so in this I see/realize the real living is what counts, HERE NOW, where every moment of breath offers the chance to STOP the MIND, to breathe, to be HERE, as LIFE.

Not living in this moment is dishonest, its like putting off, postponing things, whereas the chance to LIVE the process is here, this moment, this breath.  I breathe. I breathe, I stop the mind, I stop participating in the mind.

I direct myself to see that here, this breath, this moment, is a chance to LIVE, to Breathe etc. so the process is really to LIVE here now, this breath, utilizing all the available desteni tools.

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