Day 433 – Write to rite self.

Wow so much thinking going on, as if the world is coming to an end or as if my life is coming to end. Not cool to think so much. I mean why is it I am thinking so much, mostly desires, loss, regret, all that, not seen/realizing all that is just FEELINGS, THOUGHTS, EMOTIONS inside my head. It appears I am losing track of my purpose, I mean, getting caught in these desires is cool as long as they are practical and affordable, just going nuts and bananas about desires is unwise. Have to have a practical plan, approach things practically, writing is the way to sort these out, not endless thinking about plan A or plan B. I mean its not the end of the world if I don’t buy a house this time around. Keep things in perspective,  I do need shelter, a home, but not a desire driven mansion which I could hardly afford in case of jobless, of course, if I could turn it into a rental, investment sort of money making unit, then why not, I mean, its a win-win situation, I make money out of the student renters, and I live there too, I mean I have to live somewhere, so might as well, live in my own house, plus 2 renters, the slaves will pay for most of it. so why not. lots of assumptions here, what if I don’t get slaves to live with me? what if I don’t get a job (post-BB), so these are practical questions/concerns, there is nothing wrong with approaching the house buying project with a business like attitude, housing prices will climb up, and I have to live somewhere, so might as well be a little landlord. obviously living in one’s own house is a source of joy, but I have to be careful with that joy factor, as house is NOT going to change ‘who I am’, me is me, only self-forgiveness, self-correction in the physical can change me.  house obviously will be an asset down the road, say 5 years or so, price will be up, the area will be developed, more developed I mean, at the moment it looks pretty remote, but there is a chance for growth, again, get practical, look at all possible angles to this. it has potential. and a chance to buy won’t come along everyday. so time to really digest this chance I have now, but of course thinking endless is not the answer. so I direct myself to do some private writings on this subject, and really get to a solution, resolution, because I have been going insane thinking about shit. not cool. desteni has given a lot of tools to work with, WRITING is one of them. no need to publish private writings, just write for self, for self-investigation. that’s exactly what I need to do, as to why I am thinking shit all day instead of making solid plans on paper.

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