Wow so much thinking going on, as if the world is coming to an end or as if my life is coming to end. Not cool to think so much. I mean why is it I am thinking so much, mostly desires, loss, regret, all that, not seen/realizing all that is just FEELINGS, THOUGHTS, EMOTIONS inside my head. It appears I am losing track of my purpose, I mean, getting caught in these desires is cool as long as they are practical and affordable, just going nuts and bananas about desires is unwise. Have to have a practical plan, approach things practically, writing is the way to sort these out, not endless thinking about plan A or plan B. I mean its not the end of the world if I don’t buy a house this time around. Keep things in perspective, I do need shelter, a home, but not a desire driven mansion which I could hardly afford in case of jobless, of course, if I could turn it into a rental, investment sort of money making unit, then why not, I mean, its a win-win situation, I make money out of the student renters, and I live there too, I mean I have to live somewhere, so might as well, live in my own house, plus 2 renters, the slaves will pay for most of it. so why not. lots of assumptions here, what if I don’t get slaves to live with me? what if I don’t get a job (post-BB), so these are practical questions/concerns, there is nothing wrong with approaching the house buying project with a business like attitude, housing prices will climb up, and I have to live somewhere, so might as well be a little landlord. obviously living in one’s own house is a source of joy, but I have to be careful with that joy factor, as house is NOT going to change ‘who I am’, me is me, only self-forgiveness, self-correction in the physical can change me. house obviously will be an asset down the road, say 5 years or so, price will be up, the area will be developed, more developed I mean, at the moment it looks pretty remote, but there is a chance for growth, again, get practical, look at all possible angles to this. it has potential. and a chance to buy won’t come along everyday. so time to really digest this chance I have now, but of course thinking endless is not the answer. so I direct myself to do some private writings on this subject, and really get to a solution, resolution, because I have been going insane thinking about shit. not cool. desteni has given a lot of tools to work with, WRITING is one of them. no need to publish private writings, just write for self, for self-investigation. that’s exactly what I need to do, as to why I am thinking shit all day instead of making solid plans on paper.
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