Day 458 – More on routine type work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel angry and frustrated because of the routine assignment that I have received now, in this I forgive myself for blaming the management for dumping the routine job onto me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger and frustration.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others because now I have to do this routine job/task/assignment. within this I forgive myself for nagging and blaming and expressing my displeasure for the routine assignment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel as if there is a mountain of steps to climb to reach the finish line, within this I forgive myself for desiring to RUSH to the end line so that I can enjoy the gratification of ‘accomplishment’ and then don’t have to remain focus.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry because I don’t have the instant gratification in this routine job, as I will have to wait till the finish line to ‘enjoy’ the ‘accomplishment’ whereas now I am on a step by step basis which may take a while to reach the finish line, within this I forgive myself for being frustrated because I am missing the instant gratification.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to ‘instant gratification’. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others when I don’t get the drug of instant gratification like eating at McDonald’s fast food restaurant, its all about instant gratification.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others and be frustrated and nag because I am not getting the instant gratification on this current routine job, whereas I have to wait and wait for the end line.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in frustration and anger to others who are also in a rush to get their instant gratifications which dependent on me finishing my routine job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others and find fault in others because I am not getting my quick instant gratification.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize and understand that I am actually frustrated because this routine job demands me to be super focused on each step, on each point on the routine job, there is no time for fun or excitement or joy-seeking, but must remain focused HERE on the step, on the point to get the job done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to pay super attention to each step on the way, not seen/realizing this is a great chance to practice being HERE, on the spot, on the step, without going into the mind seeking gratification/drug for something, BUT must be HERE, breathing, one breath at a time, one step at a time. I see/realize and understand this routine job is forcing me into action to remain here, breathe, step by step, and that’s why so much resistance to my routine work.

I commit myself to breathe and stay focus on the step here, this word, this sentence, this tiny bit of action, as I see/realize when I get the tiny step correct, I can proceed to next, then next, till the finish line. I see/realize there is no rushing in this, step by step, moment by moment, breath by breath.

I commit myself to breathe. I commit myself to be satisfied with breathing. my breath is my instant gratification, as wanting anything else is a MIND job seeking something MORE out there, that’s addiction. so I stop, I breathe and focus on what must be done on this STEP, so I can reach the end line properly.

Its not even about reaching the finish line, its about getting each STEP done correctly, properly, otherwise I will have to repeat over again, and again, which can be frustrating, so I direct myself to get each step done correctly on the FIRST time.

so I breathe.

Join us, learn to remain here, breathe, do what is best for all: www.desteni.org

 

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