Day 488: dull relationships

This blog about ‘my precious’ helped me to write the following, check it out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire special relationships.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire and like special relationships because I get special attention from them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to despise a relationship if it doesn’t give me the attention it used to give.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘feel good’ when a relationship continues to give me that attention I associate the relationship with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize if all exist within me as me, then how can special relationships exist?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have reactions when old relationships don’t give me that expected attention they used to give.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dismiss people from the past as I realize that they no longer give me that attention or that kick anymore. Within this I forgive myself for using and abusing people and relationships only to get attention from them, otherwise they become like disposable objects.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to discard people like discarding objects when as I realize that the attention I used to get is no longer there, nor needed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it boring to talk to people from the past because I see that the attention is no longer there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bored when I am with certain people, as if they are making me bored, not seen/realizing it is what I allow within me, boredom, instead of remaining here and breathing as I communicate/discuss things with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it boring to be with some people and desiring others whom I see as more exciting and non-boring.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see visiting my parents as boring and dull.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see spending time with my parents as dull and boring.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see spending time with parents as a waste of my time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in old anger and memories as I spend time with my parents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish if my parents were not around, so that I don’t have to deal with emotions that arise within me when I am around them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the secret thought that I will be finally at peace when they are no more. Within this I forgive myself for not seeing/realizing I still have to face every being in existence face to face, no hiding, no running away. So in this I see/realize that desiring their demise is rather pointless and mean.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘feel good’ when I see others treating my parents nice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘feel bad’ when I see others treating my parents bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to kind of demand others to treat my parents nice but I myself not very nice to my parents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to run away from my parents believing that I cannot stand them after ten minutes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my parents as very dull and depressed old people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize what is best for all includes what is best for my parents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my parents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to conclude that I could never live with them, ever again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid too much social time with them as much as possible and keep things to a minimum.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize as long as I desire ‘special’ relationships or avoid ‘dull’ relationships I am trapping myself in polarity/energy based mind-fuck, because I am not considering all as equals and deal within all as myself. After all, each is me in another life form. So I am actually spending time with me in another form/being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize as long as I seek ‘special’ relationships and avoid so-called ‘dull’ ones, I am falling for the temptation of the mind-energy, causing a swing between feeling good and feeling not so-good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize radical living is living here breath by breath not moved by any mind-characters, not falling to likes/dislikes, simply remaining here as breath/physical and dealing with all as is, no emotions/thoughts/feelings about anything or anyone. That’s possible only if I remain here as breathing.

I commit myself to breathe and ground myself within my body when and as I see that I am looking for special attention from relationships.

I commit myself to not give into the energy excitement of special relationships. I commit myself to breathe and be here. In that way, equalizing all relationships in terms of energy ups and downs. Not allowing any relationship to feel low or high. As I speak/deal with anyone, I am here, breathing, dealing with this being here, not through my memories or past feelings or past attentions, simply me here breathing and dealing about what is required here in the physical.

Join us.

desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search the Vast Desteni Material

Living Income Guaranteed – An Economic Solution for a Failing Capitalism
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Equal Life Foundation – Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events and Solutions.
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs.

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